The elegant, subdued, and always stable Courtney Love has apparently decided to impart more on daughter Frances Bean than mere life lessons on how to assault audience members with microphone stands and why to avoid drug ingestion before appearing on David Letterman.
According to The Daily Mail, she's ready, willing, and eager to give her daughter a shot at love; and with not just any man. It turns out that Robert Pattinson, the dashing and much-older star of Twilight, has won Love's stamp of approval.
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"Courtney thinks he's charming and handsome and absolutely has to be Frances's first date," said a source. "She’s doing everything she can to engineer another meeting."
No doubt, most teenage girls would be horrified to find out that their mothers were playing puppet master in their pubescent love lives - even with Robert Pattinson. And most mothers would sooner lock their 16-year-old daughters in the basement than allow them to date a 22-year-old big screen actor from the other side of the world.
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But this is Courtney Love we're talking about. And if The Daily Mail is correct, Love is determined to see that her daughter get the best of everything in life, including boyfriends. Already intent on relocating to England to give Frances Bean a proper British education, Love considers Pattinson to be the icing on the cake.
That being said, don't look for a wedding invitation in the mail anytime soon. If this goes as well as all of Love's other schemes, we can expect to see her in court soon, claiming that the whole idea was just a delusional fantasy brought on by one expired Percocet topped off with a dose of Ambien.