A recent study published in the European Urology journal is saying men who garden, dig or mow the lawn for a minimum of 30 minutes a week have an easier time getting and maintaining an erection.
Researchers at the Medical University of Vienna are claiming a newfound interest in tending to weeds, flowers and plants can "dramatically improve a man's performance in bed." By a third, they say.
At first glance, this just reeks of a frustrated wife scam. We imagine Viennese women slipping researchers a few grand to "motivate" their husbands to help with the garden.
"Did you see the study, honey? Why don't you go tend to those azaleas."
Why just gardening and mowing the lawn? Why not doing the dishes or vacuuming? Why not go all out and say "Men who mop the floors, change the kitty litter, and Windex on a regular basis are much better in bed."
As it turns out, it isn't the relationship with flowers and the outdoors that gets a man's penis revving—it's the exercise. Men who burn as little as 1,000 extra calories a week reduce their risk of impotence. Men who go the extra mile and burn 4,000 calories a week can improve their circulation in such a profound way that it more than halves their chances of suffering from erectile dysfunction.
This can be achieved through any other form of traditional exercise that raises the heart to 120 beats a minute or higher, they say. Running, cycling, swimming, going for a brisk walk—you get the gist.
But, alas, power walking just doesn't have the same ring to it as gardening. Or cleaning the bathtub. Or sweeping. Which are good habits, that if he sticks with it, could certainly up the chances of a man getting laid and having a better sex life, anyway.