Johnny Depp Is Getting Married

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Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis
The star is set to tie the knot with longtime girlfriend Vanessa Paradis.

You know how they say that there will be signs of the apocalypse? Like the rivers will turn to blood and a plague of frogs? Well, hold onto your hats kids, and ladies, prepare to rend your garments because the news of an engagement is out and we're sure it’s the additional sign of the end of days...or at least the death of most of our fantasies.

That’s right: allegedly Johnny Depp is finally getting married in April. Let us have a moment of silence.

Cosmopolitan UK's Sexiest Man Alive (and pretty much everyone else's, let's be honest) is reported to have finally proposed to long-time girlfriend, model and singer Vanessa Paradis and blogs like Hollywood Rag have been afire with news of the engagement since Johnny was seen ring shopping. Word has it the gorgeous couple and parents of Lily Rose, 9, and Jack, 6, will marry in a chapel on their $1.25 million French estate. The wedding will be super small, with only 50 guests, among whom will be director Tim Burton acting as best man, and Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones. We wish Johnny and Vanessa the best of luck and since they've been in love forever, this is just sealing the deal on what looked like it was already going to be a lifelong union.

That being said, now the questions start: will Winona Ryder and Kate Moss be invited? Will they use the scissor hands to cut the cake? Will Karl Lagerfeld act as the wedding photographer? Will Keith Richards be sober and upright during the ceremony? Inquiring minds want to know.

So, those of you who have a serious jones for Johnny had better kiss your 21 Jump Street posters for the last time. It looks like our favorite actor and world-renowned hottie has decided to make it official.