So what’s a guy to do? An unwritten social contract forbids back hair and acne, as both are offensive to the hand and to the eye. Obviously, it's not raising a flag on Mt. Suribachi or figuring out what to do with an unwanted child resulting from shagging your secretary, but it is something that some unlucky modern guys have to deal with.
Any suggestions? Fine, Dad, I'll stop being such a dad-gum baby. Any other thoughts?
*And to put on frickin' sharks' heads. I mean, throw me a bone here.
** I've had my chest waxed and it's more of the same except with a slight twinge when the nipular region is struck. I've never thrown together the holey [sic] grail of manscaping: the back, crack and sack. Skin breakouts near genitalia always looks like the Herp, which is the antithesis of increasing the sexy. Plus, I understand that a perfectly shorn scrotum provides zero in the way of increased sensation, unlike various rumors (likely by the nether-region waxing cartel) about personal female waxing.