According to Gossip Girls, young
Juno Jamie Lynn Spears plans to get hitched still, to which we said, "Really? She's not married? Didn't she have a kid or something?" But GG.com stands firm, the Britney Spears' younger, somehow both more and less responsible sister is still hanging out in the engaged (possibly just friends) zone with baby daddy Casey Aldridge.
But the wedding, as with the show, must go on. Evidently, they have invitations and a gown and a cake and everything. Which is great and lovely. It's sort of the reason not to have a shotgun wedding. You know, you get to take your time and not kirk out about all the details while toting around a rapidly-expanding, bald person in your gut. In all honesty, if your church, community and family are cool about things like teen pregnancy and out-of-wedlock births, the Spears doctrine makes a lot of sense. And if you lose the weight and strategically keep the kid out of the photos, you can probably keep up the charade for up to a decade.
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Unfortunately, the wedding will not be paid for by the paps. According to Jossip, OK! magazine is done and done with the Spears hysterics. More accurately, stern papa Jamie Spears seeks to return honor and dignity to the Spears house. And he will not, therefore, have OK! to kick around anymore. This really plays into People's hands as they can now give the Spears family 25 cents on the dollar for the next wacky thing they do, like a post-teen pregnancy wedding.
Also, according to ThinkFashion, the Jamie-Lynn Spears look-alike from the paparazzi decoy fiasco is actually suing LAX. Evidently, she was not familiar with the intrinsic danger of tricking the celebrity media. We hope that she doesn't try to sue the estate of Gadsden R Bartlesby*, the inventor of the switcheroo. We give Adessa Eskeridge's impression of Jamie Lynn Spears a solid C+, Lorne Michaels wouldn't hire her but Mad TV might give her a featured player credit.
In summary, Jamie Lynn Spears is to be made an honest woman by Casey Aldridge, the OK! mag gravy train is over and it's apparently not OK to dress someone up like a teen celeb in an attempt to pull the wool over the eyes of the ultra-aggressive entertainment media because it could give someone PTSD (try growing up in the Spears family, young Adessa Eskeridge).
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*Note: No one is sure who invented the switcheroo, but it must have really blown some minds for the first few centuries.