New research shows that breaching trust in a young relationship spells doomsday, whereas longer-lasting relationships have a better chance of recovering from a trust-breaking blow.
According to the Los Angeles Times the results of a multi-university study shows "that making a bad first impression can be tough to overcome."
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In the study, college students were observed in two game-playing scenarios: one where an opponent cheated or otherwise breached trust early; the other where trust was broken after a longer period of time. Players in the first group were much warier about forgiving and reestablishing trust than those in the latter.
One of the lead researchers explained:
Our results fly in the face of this Hollywood notion of hating someone at first sight but then developing a wonderful, passionate relationship. The likelihood of that happening in real life is pretty low.
Love Buzz begs to disagree with the idea that one's initial notion of a person never improves. We know plenty of relationships that started with "Ugh, he's such a scalawag" and ended in solid friendship, if not love. But, we do understand how the findings relate specifically to breaking trust. If a new friend or coworker repeats something you'd ask not be told, he/she probably goes straight onto the blabbermouth blacklist.
In love, trust is vital, fragile and hard to reinstate. Take cheating, for example. In a month-old relationship, catching your guy with another woman is most likely a deal breaker. Without a plethora of experiences to back up his apologies and promise that it will never happen again, you would proceed in the relationship always wondering where he really was last night.
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On the other hand, infidelity in a 15-year marriage—while undoubtedly more hurtful—might be easier to eventually forgive as a terrible fluke. As Dr. Janis A. Spring, a psychologist and author of books on healing marriage after an affair, told YourTango about the infidelity recovery process: "I tell patients that it can take a year and a half, or longer, to feel okay again." She tells patients take time to grieve and to beware of forgiving too quickly.
Click for 10 ways to heal after an affair.