Top 10 Facebook Etiquette Rules


Facebook Etiquette
It's time that social media starts following the real life rules of common courtesy.

5) As with all things, there is such thing as too much information. The airing of grievances are best done over email, telephone and brunch. Likewise, starting a group about how "John Tucker must die," while possibly cathartic, smacks of sour grapes. Starting a Facebook group called "I Hooked Up With Dane Cook And All I Got Was This Lousy Comedy CD" is, however, hilarious. Also, keep them photos safe for work.

4) This is sort of an addendum to 2 previous rules, but it bears it's own space: don't friend an ex's new squeeze if you're not actually friends. It's easy not friending someone. In fact, it takes more energy to friend someone than not friend them. Nothing good can come of this. It's the social media equivalent of John Cusack watching through the eyes of John Malkovich's daughter as Cameron Diaz and Catherine Keener kiss in the end of Being John Malkovich. No, life isn't fair.


3) Know the difference between the Wall and a message. Facebook should devise a multiple-choice test for every new member. It will include questions like: The note "I luv u sooooo much baaaaaaaaby. I can't waaaaaaait too seeee u 2nite" belongs in A) a private message; B) the Wall; or C) a coloring book for the mentally-special. In addition, know when and whom to Poke, Super Poke, Gift and, if it exists, Super Gift.

2) Again, the interweb is not a therapy session and shouldn't be used with severely impaired judgment. For instance, there are only 2 occasions when you tell someone that you had a huge crush on them in high school (if you must): a best-selling memoir or in a situation where you think this may get them to sleep with you… in the next 15 minutes. Definitely not on their Facebook Wall.

1) Above all other rules (in this actually is in the Facebook rules), do not create a fake page as a way to punish an ex. Creating a page about your old flame and including; "pooping in the bed," "giving people crabs" and "stealing from people I date" as favorite pastimes may seem funny, but it's petty and it's a pretty good way to get sued for like $40,000 (see the case of Raphael, Grant).

Follow these 10 simple rules and people across the land will say, "Hey, that [insert your name] is pretty responsible with [insert your gender-specific possessive pronoun] use of Facebook in a relationships setting."

*A big thankya to the rest of the YourTango team for helping me fill this list.
**Word to the wise, 'friending' is OK to use as verb {gerund, really} in reference to social media, please use 'befriending' in all other verb situations.

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