Sex and the City gals sign on for another big screen orgy.
Listen, ladies. We know you might be feeling a little guilty about something. Maybe you're beyond remorseful and even a bit embarrassed. Perhaps you've had conversations that start with the words "dominant hegemony" and end with references to Camille Paglia in an attempt to overcompensate for this guilt.
But relax. It's ok to like Sex and the City.
It doesn't make you an antifeminist or a classist or a vapid materialist with Cinderella delusions. Admiring the fact that Carrie looks good in a $500 pair of Jimmy Choos and wishing that a much-younger man like Smith would love you through chemotherapy treatments isn't anything to feel bad about.
Here's why: Because we know there's a lot more to you than mere petty voyeurism. There's also plain, old-fashioned, outright pettiness.
Admit it. You've spent a fair amount of time scrutinizing Carrie's aging process. More than likely, you've questioned whether a woman over 40 should be wearing a Swiss Miss costume to a Central Park picnic. And more than once, you've unapologetically contemplated alternative storylines behind Charlotte's fixation on horses and Miranda's softball-player-inspired haircuts.
But here's the real clincher, and it's much bigger than all that pettiness: We also know that you're smart. And as such, you see Carrie not as a cosmopolitan superhero or as a modern everywoman, but as something much more compelling and sad: As the greatest punch line to her own joke. In short, what do you call a relationship columnist who's incapable of making a relationship work?
And so, dear friends, don't be ashamed to be happy that there's a sequel to the original Sex and the City movie in the works. Rejoice openly at the Fox News announcement that Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis will begin filming again later this year. And smile knowingly, confident in the fact that Carrie will continue sabotaging Mr. Big's love long after she's sent away to Shady Pines.