Are Fuck Buddies Keeping You Single

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Are Fuck Buddies Keeping You Single

READ THE COMMENTS POSTED IN RESPONSE TO THIS COLUMN HERE: http://moxieblog.typepad.com/moxieblog/2009/12/one-step-forward-two-steps-back.html

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I mean,
first things first -- would you expect details and truth to come forth
in heaps from another fuck
buddy? I certainly don't. Dudes that I'm
just fucking, I make it very clear, I don't want to know or learn too
much about you. Verify that you're single and let's keep it physical.
Period.- Jami

And how does one verify such a thing?

The
fact is, you can never verify if a fuck buddy is single. The idea that
you think you can brings me to my main point. You think you have all
this control in this dynamic...but you don't. You actually have very
little. And by "you" I mean "women."

That's the thing about Fuck
Buddy relationships that, ultimately, make them frustrating. The lack
of control.  Yes, the idea of great sex is certainly appealing. And I
most definitely fall prey to giving in to my more primal urges.  And I
tell myself I'm "okay" with being the "extra" or "just for sex." As
long as I don't think about it too deeply, I am. But when I sit and
really examine the situation, as I did yesterday after Tad's little tale of someone he's newly dating being robbed, bound and gagged,
I feel really..disappointed in myself. It's what has kept me from going
out with the 28 year old from the super market. It's this idea that I'm
allowing these men to believe they are getting over on me. That I
willingly give up my control in the situation, while telling myself I
don't mind, just for sex. That's what unsettles me about these
relationships.

That I lie to myself.

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