It seems like these days, a lot of people have come to loathe the internet in some way or form. Some think of it as a continuous string of trivialities such as what someone ate, who saw who doing what (with the evidence supplied by tagged photos of course) and the inaccuracies and plot holes of multi-million dollar blockbusters.
All of this however much maybe true, isn’t entirely what the internet has to offer. There wouldn’t be this site for one. But for me, one of the greatest aspects of it isn’t about the content, but rather the communication it allows. What I speak of is in fact, late night, sleepy eyed, tangent-filled comfort chat.
I’m guessing a lot of you might be thinking “Wait, don’t you mean cyber sex?” Hmm…actually no, at least not quite. There’s nothing of the sort involved, though at the same time it’s about two people tens if not thousands of miles away from each other talking to one another in the most intimate of ways. That cloudy mind, the conscious warm fuzziness brought on by mutual yet innocent infatuation.
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It’s been a long time since I’ve been there, in that place where I could just talk for talking’s sake, laying on my bed with my head propped up in the cup of my hand. It was as good as if she was laying right next to me, my fingers neatly twirling her hair. If I could sum up the experience into a simple sentence, it would be “post-coital conversation.” I think it’s for these reasons why some people develop this long distance internet relationship, or keep their own going while they’re out of reach for a time. It’s not about the cybersex, it’s the sense of closeness as if you could place your hand through the monitor and touch them and that even though a distance has grown between them, that unifying bond still holds true. At least that’s how I thought of it.
As I said though, I don’t have this so much anymore, my life having stripped me of much of that free time and the endurance to stay awake into the wee hours of the morning. Not only that, but the company I spent those morning hours talking to has moved on, our paths dividing us to take us elsewhere. This quiet, late-night internet loneliness doesn’t last forever though, and given time one day someone new will “Appear online” and maybe Skype might “whoop” at me when a friend says hi. Until then, I’ll keep on waiting, listening as the world nods off around me, watching the screen until my eyes grow heavy and I fall fast and sound asleep.