"Sexy" Gifts That Women Don't Actually Like

Some might say a lacy teddy or a feather tickler is more of a gift for him than for me—selfish, even. But I love sexy holiday gifts. Not only am I a little greedy when it comes to my lingerie drawer, but I love the reminder that my guy thinks I'm a sex goddess! The Frisky: Nothing Says "I Love You" Like A Million-Dollar, Platinum and Diamond Vibrator

That said, I get why some guys are afraid to shop for lingerie. The best sexy-gift shopping occurs through interpreting another person's fantasies; the gift should really reflect the way the woman sees herself in bed, not the way the man sees his lady. If she's classy, then don't go klassy. In my mind I'm burlesque star Dita Von Teese in bed, so I'll be bewildered, to say the least, by a present in the style of Boob Job McGee, Tara Reid. The Frisky: Adorable Sex Toys You'll Totally "Aww" Over

A little skittish about how Naughty Santa should stuff his stocking? I'm here to help you, boys! Some ideas of "sexy" holiday gifts not to give, after the jump. The Frisky: When A Bad Gift Reveals An Even Worse Relationship

   1. Anything crotchless
   2. Anything edible, especially jars of that weird chocolate body paint
   3. Panties two or three sizes smaller than her ass
   4. Bras two or three sizes larger than her boobs
   5. Vibrating nipple clamps (unless she's into that sort of thing) The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating