Robert, age 74, and Miriam, age 73, came to see me this year after being married 42 years. Robert had had an affair and was torn as to whether or not he wanted to leave his wife. Miriam was devastated. It wasn't until she discovered John was sleeping with another woman that she finally understood he had been miserable in their marriage for decades. He had tried to tell her for years how unhappy he had been, but she hadn't heard him ... until the affair.
It took months of working with this couple, especially Miriam, to teach them to communicate from the deepest place in themselves in order to build the emotional, and eventually, sexual intimacy that had been missing for what seemed like forever. Miriam had been so focused on organizing Robert's sock and underwear drawers all those years that she never noticed Robert cared more about connecting with her than he did about a clean and orderly house.
It took some time for Miriam to wake up. The affair, although painful to go through, was the catalyst for making their marriage better than it had ever been. This couple is now making love, traveling, and enjoying their retirement. More importantly - Robert has a sloppy sock and underwear drawer and loves it! Robert wrote this on his coaching evaluation form, "When I first called, it was to save my sanity, not the marriage. Your coaching saved both."