8 Ways To Have Sex Like You Just Met

Keeping the intimacy alive starts outside of the bedroom.

By Steph Auteri — Written on Jan 09, 2015

When you've been together for awhile, the sizzle in your relationship can oftentimes reduce to a low simmer. You know that when he touches your upper arm in a specific way, he's trying to initiate sexy time, and that his touch will be followed a certain kiss, which will be followed by a certain grope, which will then be followed by a certain hip thrust. Besides, you're tired. And there's stuff to do. Can't it just wait till another day?

Joselin Linder and Elena Donovan Mauer's Have Sex Like You Just Met—a new book due out this month—contains a multitude of tricks for keeping the intimacy alive, many of which involve behavior outside of the bedroom. So try these turn-on tactics. You won't even have to take off your clothes.

1. Shower him with compliments. Remind him of how much you love him, whether it's because of how good he is as what he does, how good he is to you or how good he looks without his shirt on. He'll appreciate the random flattery, and the boost to his confidence will make him want to return the favor. 7 Phrases Men Love To Hear

2. Flirt with others. Allowing outside flirtation into your relationship—especially when you're out together—can be healthy. The extra attention will make the both of you feel sexier. Not only that, but seeing someone else macking on your guy or girl can remind you of just how lucky you are to have that hot tamale all to yourself. When Does Flirting Cross The Line?

3. Flirt with each other. Foreplay is about a lot more than the finding each other's sweet spots. The most effective foreplay is an hours-long, anticipation-building seduction that includes quick kisses, playful butt-grabbing, muscle tweaking and other reminders that you find your partner irresistible.

4. Find romance in the mundane. So he doesn't surprise you with candy buttons, or leave love letters on your computer keyboard, where you're sure to find them once you eventually roll out of bed. Once you start really paying attention, you'll be surprised to find out how romantic your loved one really is. Every time he washes the dishes without asking, accompanies you to the DMV (ick) or works extra hours so that he can buy you pretty dresses, he's saying he loves you. Realizing this will totally give you the warm fuzzies.

5. Go back to the beginning. New relationships are hella fun. Because of butterflies in the stomach. And anticipation. And first kisses. It's why so many relationships don't make it past the first few months, and why infidelity and divorce run so rampant. Get nostalgic with each each other about your humble beginnings. Remember aloud how you first met. How you first felt about each other. When you first kissed. Perhaps you can even reenact a few firsts. Remembering how you first fell in love may make you fall in love all over again... bringing you back to a time when you couldn't wait to hop into bed together. To Kiss Or Not To Kiss On The First Date?

6. Have a hot and heavy makeout session. Smooch for hours, until your lips are raw and chapped. Rub each other's arms and thighs and upper back, to the point where you're ready to rip each other's clothes off. Throw in some dry humping. (Remember when dry humping was fun?) Make out without expectations. It will remove the pressure to perform, allowing you to remain relaxed enough to actually get turned on.

7. Swap fantasies. Talk about what turns you on, and about the things you've always wanted to try. Allow yourselves to become inspired. The Truth About Acting Out Your Fantasies