I'm stuck at home with sick kids for the day, so you're all stuck with me.
Now that Tiger Woods has thoroughly blown his ability to earn money advertising anything women buy, what's in his future? How can he keep earning the money he needs to pay off all those floozies and still keep his wife at his side?
Viagra ads - So she won't know how busy you were the night before.
Condoms - If you haven't got one, Happy Father's Day from Tiger Woods.
Divorce lawyers - Need to renegotiate your pre-nup in a rush? Call 1-800-DIVORCE.
Voice disguising software app - For leaving messages that can't be sold to the press.
Escort services - When you need someone discreet.
Remote control e-mail and text message erasing software app - For erasing embarrassing text messages and e-mails.
Blonde blow-up dolls - Because they can't talk.
Anyone have some more tasteless ideas for Tiger's future?