Tila Tequila, who officially gave up dudes after accusing ex-boyfriend Shawn Merriman of beating her, broke the news via Ustream video on Wednesday that her latest girlfriend, Casey Johnson, popped the question. And because nothing is quite as entertaining as Tila's own ramblings, here is a snippet of her big announcement:
This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first—Tila army fans—tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!...So yeah, my baby got me this 17-carat ring. My baby takes care of me. Beat that J. Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar!
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Wait, there is a Tila army? Really? Can't we send them to Afghanistan?
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Honestly, it's kind of hard to take this news seriously based on, well, everything. First, there is the little matter that Tila's entire celebrity has been built on constant famewhoring. Second, that ring looks completely fake. Tila insisted that it's not because Casey "is a f****** baller," reminding us all that she's a billionaire heiress (but that's totally not why she loves her). Still, real diamonds that big are generally locked up in the Tower of London. Third, when did these two even start dating? Not that they would be the first celebs to rush into marriage, but this "engagement" seems completely out of left field. 5 Celeb Couples Who Got Married Too Soon
Then again, it might be the least strange thing either of these two women has ever done. The last we heard from Tila, she was posting a naked, disjointed rant on Ustream and accusing Rihanna of spreading herpes. As for Casey, she was arrested at the beginning of the month for burglarizing the home of a friend, an act made all the more strange when it was discovered that the troubled heiress had left a used vibrator at the scene of the crime.