High school sweethearts, and parents of two, Jay, 36 years old, wanted sex every day and Becca, 35 years old, was satisfied with once a week. I explained to them that there are several reasons why a couple may not be in the mood at the same time. It could be physical: too tired. It could be emotional: too stressed. It could also be just plain boredom: too predictable.
As a solution to resolve the mismatched sex drive, I asked Becca to tell Jay what would help her to get into a sexy mood more often. She confessed she had some resentment towards him expecting her to turn into a sexpot from mommy mode without any romance or foreplay. Jay promised to give Becca some time to unwind, let her take a bath and then give her a massage, focusing on the non sexual parts of her body first. Becca promised to be more responsive and sexual as she was when they were first married. The power of communication and compromise worked its magic once again.