Lila here~ One question we get often here at the Booty Doctors is, “Why do women say they want a nice guy, but then dump me for a bad boy?” I came up with a list of things a man can do, nice guy or not, to finish first.
1. Act confident. If you don’t believe you can get a date, you definitely won’t. But remember, confidence doesn’t mean arrogance and it doesn’t mean you’re self-absorbed. How do women perceive confidence, you ask? Smile and maintain good eye contact to start. I don’t mean stare her down, or give a smoldering, “I know you want me” look (that’s not nice). Just be direct and open. Your eye contact should say, “I’m interested in getting to know you better, I’m curious about you.” Put your drink down between sips (sips, not gulps) rather than holding onto it like a pacifier. And use your body: lean in every once in awhile for more intimacy. Just don’t forget to pull back again to give us space. Non-sexual touch is great too: rest your hand lightly on her forearm after a laugh, or give a shoulder nudge to emphasize a point.
2. Ask her questions about herself. This is a no-brainer for the nice guy, because you are genuinely interested in her. If you’re not a natural nice guy, this is the best tip you can get for your money. Women can’t stand it when men are so self-absorbed they only talk about themselves. We want to know about you, but we also want to know that you remember we’re real people, not just a piece of meat.
3. Stop trying so hard to please. It’s ok if we don’t agree on every single thing. We want to know you have a spine of your own. Have a strong opinion about something and let us know about it. That doesn’t mean you aren’t open to a differing opinion, but it’s ok to “agree to disagree.” I’ll give a small example: when we ask where you want to go for dinner, have an opinion. It’s irritating to hear, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” all the time. I’m sure you think the same thing; you’d rather hear our opinion, even if you disagree. Here’s a clue: both men and women think that someone who knows what they want out of bed will also know what they want (and not be afraid to tell us) in bed, and that is sexy as hell.