Is Fear Preventing You From Finding Love?

Blind to love: Love may have shown up at different points in your life, but you weren't able to recognize it. You were looking for another "feeling" and dodged the opportunity for a real relationship. In fact, love might be staring you in the face at this very moment, but your potential mate remains emotionally invisible to you.

When you are ready to break out of your patterns of self-sabotage, it is time to put your awareness into action with these steps:

1. Recognize your patterns, be truthful to yourself.
2. Commit to change.
3. Maintain a daily routine of self-reflection (possibly writing in your journal), focusing on changes you notice in your unfolding new self.
4. Share your emerging awareness with others -- friends, therapists, support group members -- to strengthen your resolve and gain support.
5. Practice being emotionally present, open and sharing with all of the people in your immediate life, each day extending your caring self to new people.
6. Step outside your usual circle of friends and activities to explore new interests and try out new roles.
7. Initiate contact with at least 10 new people and explore different aspects of your personality that may have not found expression before (your various alter ego states).
8. Come clean about your feelings and your culpabilities about past relationship failures with at least three of these contacts.

Written by Susan Anderson for ThirdAge.

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