How To Seduce Difficult Women
French seduction tips from the director of a new film about helping American men get game.
Certain men—gays and hairstylists among them—have a particularly astute handle on what women want.
Richard Temtchine, who is decidedly not the former but was, for 22 years, the latter, is one of these men—and he's translated this insight into his new film, How To Seduce Difficult Women, opening in New York City on Friday. The Paris-born Temtchine wrote, directed and produced the film, which follows Philippe, a philandering, married Frenchman living in New York, as he instructs hapless American men in the art of seduction. Temtchine came up with the idea after running into an acquaintance who struck him as a particularly difficult-to-woo woman, and realizing he had the tools to make her soften, if not melt. Beauty Rituals: U.S. vs. France
So what does a difficult woman look for in a man? 10 Simple Things Women Want
"That's easy," Temtchine says. "Honesty, humor and confidence." American men, he says, let fear and "approach anxiety" stop them from going after the women they really want (aka the "difficult" women who won't fall for any old pick-up line). In the film, one of Philippe's proteges, a widower, overcomes his fear and wins big attracting a hot blond with a wild side.
As for long-lasting love, Temtchine's recipe for success comes again in threes: "no appropriation, no possession and no dependence." Unhappy marriages, prostitution and infidelity, he ventures, are the results of couples who've stopped working. The key, he says, is to be creative. Men need to continue seducing their wives, and women need to create situations for their husbands to feel like they are leaders. A French Model's Take On Love
Temtchine clarifies that the seduction he promotes is quite different from the "game playing" he sees taking place in the States. "People don't say what they mean," he says. Rather than trying to impress a woman with any sort of braggadocio, he says, letting her know she's beautiful and that you'd like to take her out will lead to much greater success.
The "difficult women" here at Love Buzz would agree.
Readers, does Temtchine have women pegged correctly? Tell us in the comments below.
Discussion
Yes, he has been married (and divorced) once. I think the idea of no dependence or possession in a relationship works, too, but it's a European concept that many Americans don't exactly relate to. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.
And, yes, Bookmama, would love to hear your 3 bits of wisdom on the matter, please share!
Possessiveness can kill love, but not being possessive isn't enough to make it last.
Being overly dependent can also kill love, but again, healthy independence isn't enough.
Some dependence is a good thing; as in if you lost your lover, you wouldn't be as happy. You need them, you're just not a wet dishrag who wants them to take care of you all the time (although everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes).
Both possessiveness and dependence can be subjective words. I would say that my husband is almost never possessive. On the other hand, we both expect that at the end of the day, we'll be home for dinner unless we talk about it ahead of time. We have male and female friends and don't worry about that, but we are monogamous. Some people would feel that was being too possessive; we don't. To me possessive would be a husband who didn't want me to talk to other men or tried to control what I do when he's not there.
agree with your talk of having a good enough balance of possesiveness & dependence. it also fluctuates at times when either is needed. such as - good to be possessive in the face of another flirting with ur significant other at a bar, but not so good to be possessive in front of their family.
