The Calculus of Women's Fashion.

By Africanlegend.

I was on my facebook page and I came across an interesting post that
inspired me to make a commentary on women's fashion. The post read:

“Last night's shoes = A for cuteness, C- for comfort.”

The
gender of this individual is no doubt female. I sat for a moment, lost
in deep thought, contemplating the profundity of this ‘status’ when
suddenly the realization hit me like a sack of bricks falling on me
from a tall building. Disagreeable women are spawned, not of
genuine malcontent but rather as a result of adorning some kind of
attire that provides a constant supply of discomfort.

I am sure a number of guys have presented their “A
Game” to a “would be suitor,” said all the right things, yet STILL
ended up with a stiff arm to the face, a slap, a well aiming kick to
the testes, or a blast of well directed spit. It is not your fault my
clean-shaven, well dressed gentlemen. The 26 inch, diamante
studded stiletto heels are putting severe pressure on her spinal cord
as well as giving her vertigo and she has projected the resultant
emotional state on you

The masochistic idea is simple “Beauty is Pain”. A woman will dress up and look the best she can be,
regardless of what that actually entails. So even if it involves shoes
that shoot pain like jagged knives through her heels every time she
takes a step, a tube top that prevents breathing, or a turtle neck that
feels like a tightly wound noose, if it looks “cute” she will damn well
wear it. Women treat this as an investment. They will say, “I will take
the discomfort and expect a reasonable return in terms of the aggregate
number of men that hit on me, with respect to time.” This gives rise to
the time sensitive equation:

Pain x Time it takes for first man to hit on her/Total number of men that hit on her = Malcontent level

It
follows from the equation that the longer it takes for a guy to hit on
the girl and the number of guys that hit on her drastically affect how
malcontent she will be. Let me briefly illustrate this idea.

If things work out:

Pain = 100

Time = 10 minutes

Number of Men =10

(100x10)/10 = Malcontent level

Therefore Malcontent level = 100

If things do not work out:

Pain = 100

Time = 2 hours = 120 minutes

Number of Men =1

(100x120)/1 = Malcontent level

Therefore Malcontent level = 12000