Diary Of A Former Fat Girl: Sex And The Scale

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how to feel sexy after losing weight
A formerly overweight newlywed discovers that feeling sexy on her honeymoon is not about being thin.

Never before had I wanted something as badly as I wanted to be thin, so during my sophomore year of college, I decided to chuck the fake cheese for good. A $20 gym membership and a pair of Nikes eventually helped me shed ninety pounds. At last, at 20 years old, I slipped my hips into a size eight.

A couple of months after I'd lost the weight, I got my first kiss. It was on the beach at sunset with a guy I didn't end up dating, but he was handsome and kind. More importantly, he liked me. And that was a feeling I'd never experienced. How To Kiss Well

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Suddenly, getting attention from men was fantastic, but what I didn't know was that when I said adios to Oreos, I would also be bidding adieu to my darling D cups. My once buoyant, bouncy breasts are now stretchy sacks of skin that bob over my rib cage. I dolled them up in push-up bras and padding for three years after losing weight but eventually learned to love them for what they are: no longer round and robust like tomatoes, but withered like wilted leaves of lettuce.

My fiancé had seen the stretch marks, and he still wanted to marry me. We met when I was 20. I was wearing a pretty party dress when he introduced himself to me, and several months later we became a couple. He never knew the girl I was just a year before, shrouded in hoodies and oversized T-shirts. He sent me a friend request on Facebook, and our shared love for Hemingway and Radiohead had me hooked. After sharing a pizza one night, I asked him if I was his girlfriend. He said yes.

The first time he saw my belly was while wearing a bikini at a friend's house. I'd left my swimsuit at home and borrowed the unforgiving two-piece from my girlfriend as a group of us lounged in her hot tub.

He said nothing about my stretch marks or the way my top sagged, but I brought it up on the drive home.

"If you wondered at all, I have stretch marks from being overweight. I used to weigh a lot more than I do now. My skin has changed and I hate bikinis because of it," I admitted awkwardly.

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"That's part of weight loss; I get it. Not a big deal," he replied coolly. I couldn't have been more relieved.

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