Having The Tough Talks With Men

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Having The Tough Talks With Men

=>The "Where is this going/Are we exclusive?" talk -
This conversation should be saved for AT LEAST a couple months in or
until you and your partner have established some kind of consistency
and regularity. Ladies, just understand that a guy might pull back or
seem hesitant. If he does, and everything up to that point has been
pretty smooth, then let it go and drop the subject for a small time.
Like a month or six weeks. But if you hit the four month mark and he's
still not committing, then you need to figure out if this guy is worth
the emotional investment. If he's not committing to exclusivity at
least by this point..I'm guessing either he never will or never will
with you. A man , even if he sees no future with a woman, will prolong
a relationship as long as things are for the most part okay. A lot of men don't need to see a future with a woman to stay with her long term. Never
assume exclusivity. A guy will keep this subject off the table for as
long as he can in order to think he still has options, even if he
doesn't. Again, there's no need to inform him that you're looking to
get married and have kids and don't want to waste your time. That's a
great way to scare a guy off. Your schedule and biological clock is not
his problem. Just ask him straight out if you and he are exclusive.
Which is not "Are you sleeping with anyone else?" That's a great way to
put a guy on the defensive, especially if they are. Once they go on the
defensive, it's going to be a bitch trying to get them to open up and
be honest. That's their survival instinct kicking in. Just ask him the
question at the appropriate time, not before sex or late at night or
early in the morning or when he's been drinking. And DEFINITELY not in
public because guys are terrified of public outbursts or scenes, so
they're likely to clam up or tell you what you want to hear.And if he
doesn't give you the answer you need, don't threaten to walk unless
you're damn skippy sure you will. Go back on that kind of declaration
once and he'll never take you seriously again. Ultimatums are not a
woman's best friend. No guy is going to cave because a woman threatens
to not have sex with them or bail. They'll just go have sex with
someone else until you break down and give in.

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