How To Date A (Real-Life) Vampire

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YourTango goes inside real-life vampire relationships.

Romance with donors can often lead to complications. Although she's currently involved in a romantic relationship with her donor, Cynsanity commented, "Frankly, the best donors I ever had were those who were in no way sexually or romantically interested in me." Heather Corus, 26, from Pittsburgh, is an energy donor who believes she has an overabundance vital energy. She made a similar comment about the vampire/donor relationship. "My personal rule," she said, "is Don't Date The Vamps, especially if you're feeding them."

I also spoke with Enafae, 54, a Wiccan from Michigan. She was married to a sanguinarian vampire and was his donor for several years. Her marriage ended in part because she learned her husband had other donors she didn't know about. "My husband was not an honorable man," says Enafae. Despite this, Enafae maintains strong friendships in the vampire community. "I have dated other vampires," she says, "But I also date mundanes, witches…you get the idea."

Vampires also date one another. Cynsanity suggested this could be a risky undertaking, as vampires tend to be territorial and hierarchical. "Dating another vampire is like putting two kegs full of TNT next to one another," she said. On the other hand, Crystalis is dating a hybrid vampire named Sabastian DeCavalier, 43, and they seem to be enjoying their vampire/vampire romance, particularly because they sustain each other through tantric feeding. "At the deepest level during such a feed," Crystalis explained, "it becomes difficult to tell where your own soul ends and your partner's soul begins."

Some vampires believe vampirism is genetic. There are families of vampires with vampiric children and even grandchildren. Many vampires have traditional weddings, but some prefer Pagan rituals known as handfastings, a ceremony that can include classic marriage elements like an exchange of rings, and less traditional ones like jumping over a broom. "Vampire ceremonies" involving drinking one another's blood from a chalice are not unheard of. There are even vampires who are licensed ministers.

Those seeking the love of a vampire should remember that they are people first and vampires second. Diss encouraged those entering this community to "lay aside all that they think they know about vampires or donors, and remember that they, that we, are first of all people." Enafae reinforced this, adding, "a relationship with a vampire takes communication, work and love, just like with any relationship." This is sound advice for anyone who imagines that their problems can be escaped by running away with the tall, dark, and fangsome.

Written by Joseph Laycock with YourTango. Buy his book, Vampires Today: The Truth about Modern Vampirism, at Amazon.com.

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