What do you do if you feel like your stomach is eating itself because of the torment of dating a married man? Make yourself a Sky-High Banana Cream Pie, says Heather Whaley, author of Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing. Whaley is an advocate of taking the time to comfort yourself—especially when no one else will—with food. Self-Help Your Way To Love
This is what you will need for Sky-High Banana Cream Pie:
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1 frozen piecrust
2 boxes vanilla pudding
4 cups milk
4 cups cream
1/2 cup sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Poke holes in piecrust and bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Slice bananas. Check voice mail to see if he's called you. He hasn't. Prepare pudding according to package directions. Check voice mail again. Why Dating Divorced Men Is Better
Place bananas in crust and cover with pudding. Pick up telephone to make sure the line isn't dead. It isn't.
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In a large bowl, mix the cream and sugar. Whip with an electric mixer until thick and whippy. Call his house. When the wife answers, hang up quickly. Do not succumb to urge to tell her about the torrid but empty affair you are having with her husband. As tempting as it is, think of what it would do to the children. Top pie with whipped cream. Wife Endorses The Other Woman
Go into bathroom, or to nearest mirror, and stare at your wretched self while repeating, "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." Bring pie into bathroom and eat while staring at yourself in the mirror, so you can see just how disgusting you truly are.
Excerpted from EAT YOUR FEELINGS: Recipes For Self-Loathing by Heather Whaley. Published by arrangement with Hudson Street Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Copyright © Heather Whaley, 2009.