How To Get Over Your Painful Past
07/30/2010
MEMORY plays an important role in how we hold on to limiting ...

Pole dancing is a controversial sport. It's hard to do; you have to have excellent core and upper body strength, and you have to be fairly coordinated. But it's also undeniably erotic. Watching it immediately conjures up sexual thoughts for men, and most likely even for some women. It is inexorably linked to exotic dancing, otherwise known as stripping.
Therein lies the feminist dilemma. Most people consider stripping to be demeaning to women, objectifying women and reducing them to pieces of meat to be used and potentially abused by men. Stripping, some believe, is a gateway to prostitution. To be fair, these things are true for some dancers. But they are mostly not only untrue, but the polar opposite of what is true.
One of my best friends is an exotic dancer. She's also a life coach and a very conscious, loving woman. Meeting her, watching her dance, and talking philosophically with her about her craft helped me formulate a different kind of feminist perspective. Our conversations have been a kind of lynch pin tying together my beliefs and experiences with Tantric philosophy and the Magdalene archetype.
I've been working with the energy and archetype of Mary Magdalene for nearly a decade now. Widely discounted as a repentant whore, that mischaracterization has been revealed as false. In fact, in 1969 the Vatican issued an official, if quiet, retraction. Mary Magdalene was a spiritual teacher in her own right. She taught alongside Jesus, often translating his more esoteric teachings into plain language so others could understand. There are many who say that she and Jesus were married. Anyone who has seen the painting "The Wedding at Cana" would believe that this is true. In the painting, Jesus and Mary are seated at the center of the table, in the traditional place for bride and groom. Rather than being a whore, Mary Magdalene was a powerful teacher and healer. And she was undeniably a woman who honored and valued herself as a sexual being.
For many years feminists (myself included) have strived to make women equal to men in a man's world. I now believe that this strategy is demeaning to women, and also a losing battle. In a misguided effort to mold ourselves into replicas of men, we discount all that is good and valuable about our womanhood. Women who do this set themselves up for failure. We are not physically stronger than men. We do not think like men. We do not conduct business the way men do, if we are left to our own devices. We do not learn things in the same way men do, nor do we process thoughts or emotions in the same way. Female Vs Male Brain: Is There A Difference?
In trying to mold ourselves after men, we deny our inherent self worth as women. In agreeing with the ways of the patriarchy, we have set up a vicious cycle which ensures that women will always be subjugated. We will always be less than; second class citizens in a world that says the masculine way is the right way. In that world, pole dancing and stripping (and pornography and commercial media) do become demeaning to women. They do objectify us and can set us up to be used and abused. Have We Really Come a Long Way?
But I don't live in a world like that. In my world, the ways of the feminine are sacred and valuable. I honor what is good and pure about the masculine, and I place equal value on what is good and pure about the feminine. I seek balance, both within and without.
I am not a man, nor do I want to become one. I revel in my feminine essence and I appreciate my ability to tap into my masculine essence when I need to. But mostly, I am interested in exploring and revealing my feminine essence as fully as possible, so that I can be the most authentic version of myself. Pole dancing is one of the many ways I allow myself that exploration. Love Getting Spanked? A Feminist Explains Why She Loves Spankings
From watching my friend strip, and from experimenting with a few strip teases myself in front of my partner, I have concluded that there is tremendous power in the dancing female form. The amount of clothing is nearly irrelevant, thanks to the power of the masculine imagination. While dancing, we tap into the power of creative energy (Shakti) and sexual energy (Kundalini). When we use those two energies in the exploration of our authenticity, we are able to glimpse our divinity. This is the truth of the Magdalene; this is the truth of the sacred feminine. This is our birth right as women. This is my brand of feminism.
Hmmm, interesting. In life, there are so many ways to see the same issue. Sometimes, I can see how empowering traditionally "dehumanizing" things, like stripping can be. Other times, I see what's wrong about it.
I agree with Lyz - in a healthy relationship, pretty much anything goes sexually, if you've got trust and a deep bond. My only worry is all the women, especially young ones, who think acting like a stripper or being more available sexually than they might naturally be, is a means to empowerment.
Check out my own blog post about my experience in a strip class: http://tartandsoul.com/2009/10/18/if-i-strip-for-you-will-you-strip-for-...
I myself never viewed myself as less than simply because I am a woman. I have always believed that men and women are partners in life, standing beside one another. Yes, we are different, both physically and mentally, but that is just what is needed. A balance of our each individual talents- a yin/yang, a black/white, soft/hard.
Pole dancing can be a beautiful art form and a truly hard work out. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder whether female or male. How one was raised, how they adjusted during the teen years and how they adjusted to becoming an adult plays a huge part in how pole dancing is viewed.
As for Mary Magdelene, the idea that she was married to Jesus (which I have believed since I was a child and even got removed from childrens church for even suggesting it) comes from the Gospel of Mary, written about 150 years after His death by an unnamed author. The Gospel of Philip claims that Jesus and Mary were 'companions' (koinonos)
Well, I hope I can disagree with you and still be considered well-adjusted and properly brought up. :-) I think if you pole dance for a crowd, you're being objectified. You can't just click your heels three times and say "I'm in control," to make it true.
I thought Qverb wrote a beautiful comment a while back about exotic dancing and how knowing exotic dancers had changed what he saw in both positive and negative ways.
God blessed them, saying : "Be fertile and multiply.." Translate that however you want.
Would have loved to seen more references (historic and folkloric) about Mary Magdelene, since you mentioned it.
PS. anybody got 800 bucks for one of those poles?
If you really really want a pole, I do know where to get one that is a lot less than 800.00 :D
I don't buy that Mary of Magdalene was married to Jesus. Where do you get that from? I don't think it's in any gospel, not even the more controversial ones. And how can you say she was undeniably sexual when all we know is that she was one of Jesus's followers?
I think that every time we turn ourselves into objects, we lessen ourselves as humans. And I think that stripping has that effect. Men come into clubs and view women as objects and nothing more.
That said. In a healthy relationship, that has love and respect, that stripping can augment the relationship by allowing both partners to explore sexuality. The objectification issue doesn't play a role because of the relationship between both partners.
But I do think that power derived from sexuality is a weak power. It's like men using their muscle. That's a type of power, but if that's your only power and your only means of power it ends up enslaving you more than liberating you.
07/30/2010
MEMORY plays an important role in how we hold on to limiting ...
07/30/2010
There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make ...
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