Community Blog: The Feminist Side Of Pole Dancing

Pole dancing is a controversial sport.It's hard to do; you have to have excellent core and upper body strength, and you have to be fairly coordinated. But it’s also undeniably erotic. Watching it immediately conjures up sexual thoughts for men, and most likely even for some women. It is inexorably linked to exotic dancing, otherwise known as stripping. Therein lies the feminist dilemma.

Pole dancing is a controversial sport. It's hard to do; you have to have excellent core and upper body strength, and you have to be fairly coordinated. But it's also undeniably erotic. Watching it immediately conjures up sexual thoughts for men, and most likely even for some women. It is inexorably linked to exotic dancing, otherwise known as stripping.

Therein lies the feminist dilemma. Most people consider stripping to be demeaning to women, objectifying women and reducing them to pieces of meat to be used and potentially abused by men. Stripping, some believe, is a gateway to prostitution. To be fair, these things are true for some dancers. But they are mostly not only untrue, but the polar opposite of what is true.

One of my best friends is an exotic dancer. She's also a life coach and a very conscious, loving woman. Meeting her, watching her dance, and talking philosophically with her about her craft helped me formulate a different kind of feminist perspective. Our conversations have been a kind of lynch pin tying together my beliefs and experiences with Tantric philosophy and the Magdalene archetype.

I've been working with the energy and archetype of Mary Magdalene for nearly a decade now. Widely discounted as a repentant whore, that mischaracterization has been revealed as false. In fact, in 1969 the Vatican issued an official, if quiet, retraction. Mary Magdalene was a spiritual teacher in her own right. She taught alongside Jesus, often translating his more esoteric teachings into plain language so others could understand. There are many who say that she and Jesus were married. Anyone who has seen the painting "The Wedding at Cana" would believe that this is true. In the painting, Jesus and Mary are seated at the center of the table, in the traditional place for bride and groom. Rather than being a whore, Mary Magdalene was a powerful teacher and healer. And she was undeniably a woman who honored and valued herself as a sexual being.

For many years feminists (myself included) have strived to make women equal to men in a man's world. I now believe that this strategy is demeaning to women, and also a losing battle. In a misguided effort to mold ourselves into replicas of men, we discount all that is good and valuable about our womanhood. Women who do this set themselves up for failure. We are not physically stronger than men. We do not think like men. We do not conduct business the way men do, if we are left to our own devices. We do not learn things in the same way men do, nor do we process thoughts or emotions in the same way. Female Vs Male Brain: Is There A Difference?

In trying to mold ourselves after men, we deny our inherent self worth as women. In agreeing with the ways of the patriarchy, we have set up a vicious cycle which ensures that women will always be subjugated. We will always be less than; second class citizens in a world that says the masculine way is the right way. In that world, pole dancing and stripping (and pornography and commercial media) do become demeaning to women. They do objectify us and can set us up to be used and abused. Have We Really Come a Long Way?

But I don't live in a world like that. In my world, the ways of the feminine are sacred and valuable. I honor what is good and pure about the masculine, and I place equal value on what is good and pure about the feminine. I seek balance, both within and without.  

I am not a man, nor do I want to become one. I revel in my feminine essence and I appreciate my ability to tap into my masculine essence when I need to. But mostly, I am interested in exploring and revealing my feminine essence as fully as possible, so that I can be the most authentic version of myself. Pole dancing is one of the many ways I allow myself that exploration. Love Getting Spanked? A Feminist Explains Why She Loves Spankings

From watching my friend strip, and from experimenting with a few strip teases myself in front of my partner, I have concluded that there is tremendous power in the dancing female form. The amount of clothing is nearly irrelevant, thanks to the power of the masculine imagination. While dancing, we tap into the power of creative energy (Shakti) and sexual energy (Kundalini). When we use those two energies in the exploration of our authenticity, we are able to glimpse our divinity. This is the truth of the Magdalene; this is the truth of the sacred feminine. This is our birth right as women. This is my brand of feminism.

Article contributed by:
Johanna Lyman
membershipAdvanced Member
Relationship CoachJohanna Lyman Spiritual Love Coach Romance Recovery: Whether You Stay or Go, Do It With Courage, Clarity and Ease www.romancerecovery.com 774-262-4211
Credentials: OtherSpecialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy, Spiritual/Religious
Discussion
lwarrell Starting Over
Posted November 2, 2009

Hmmm, interesting. In life, there are so many ways to see the same issue. Sometimes, I can see how empowering traditionally "dehumanizing" things, like stripping can be. Other times, I see what's wrong about it.

I agree with Lyz - in a healthy relationship, pretty much anything goes sexually, if you've got trust and a deep bond. My only worry is all the women, especially young ones, who think acting like a stripper or being more available sexually than they might naturally be, is a means to empowerment.

Check out my own blog post about my experience in a strip class: http://tartandsoul.com/2009/10/18/if-i-strip-for-you-will-you-strip-for-...

Score: 0

You need to be logged in to do that!

Login or sign up now - it's fun, easy, and free. We'll keep your seat warm for you!
Johanna Lyman Married Spiritual Love Coach
Posted October 30, 2009

There are gospels that talk about Mary and Jesus being married. There are also conjectures that they had a spiritual but not necessarily sexual union. Regardless, my main point is that she was his equal.
Revealing the truth about Mary Magdalene is directly related, imho, to feminism and sexuality because of the lies that were spread about her. Taking her and Jesus's mother Mary as the two most influential women in the new testament, the roles of women are defined as either virgin or whore. That's a pretty narrow box to put billions of women into.
Exotic dancing is undeniably controversial. My experience as an audience member is that it can be as empowering or as disempowering as the dancer wishes it to be (and I don't mean dancers consciously wish to disempower themselves)-- depending on how she views the job, herself and her customers. Clearly, men objectify strippers. They also objectify models, singers and actors.
I believe there is profound healing potential in dancing. I'm not even sure if I can verbalize it clearly, so please don't jump down my throat. :-) For 5,000 years (give or take) we've been in a patriarchy where women's lives have been devalued and women have been objectified. Recently (the last 50 or so years) the pendulum has begun to swing in the other direction and there's a huge backlash against men. I hear women slamming men all the time, and I find it disturbing. They have been conditioned to desire and experience sex in certain ways that are just as limiting to the men as they are to the women.
If a woman (as my friend does) dances and chooses to engage in conversations with her customers, she draws them out of the object/subject realm and into an actual relationship between two real people. She becomes a conduit for healing, as men share with her their fears and disappointments and she talks to them about it. She was trained at the Hendricks Institute in CA, which focuses on relationships, so she comes prepared. :-)
And I totally agree that sexual power, if it's your only weapon, is a flimsy one. The sexual power I was referring to is the one that comes from deep self-love and self confidence... the sexual energy is kind of a bonus but not the main intention. I hope that makes sense!!

Score: 0
Janie Shoemake Married
Can Relate - Posted October 28, 2009

I myself never viewed myself as less than simply because I am a woman. I have always believed that men and women are partners in life, standing beside one another. Yes, we are different, both physically and mentally, but that is just what is needed. A balance of our each individual talents- a yin/yang, a black/white, soft/hard.

Pole dancing can be a beautiful art form and a truly hard work out. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder whether female or male. How one was raised, how they adjusted during the teen years and how they adjusted to becoming an adult plays a huge part in how pole dancing is viewed.

As for Mary Magdelene, the idea that she was married to Jesus (which I have believed since I was a child and even got removed from childrens church for even suggesting it) comes from the Gospel of Mary, written about 150 years after His death by an unnamed author. The Gospel of Philip claims that Jesus and Mary were 'companions' (koinonos)

Score: 1
BookMama Married Happily Married
Posted October 29, 2009

Well, I hope I can disagree with you and still be considered well-adjusted and properly brought up. :-) I think if you pole dance for a crowd, you're being objectified. You can't just click your heels three times and say "I'm in control," to make it true.

I thought Qverb wrote a beautiful comment a while back about exotic dancing and how knowing exotic dancers had changed what he saw in both positive and negative ways.

Score: 0
MaliMali Married hopefully and hopelessly married
Posted October 27, 2009

God blessed them, saying : "Be fertile and multiply.." Translate that however you want.
Would have loved to seen more references (historic and folkloric) about Mary Magdelene, since you mentioned it.
PS. anybody got 800 bucks for one of those poles?

Score: 0
Janie Shoemake Married
Can Relate - Posted October 28, 2009

If you really really want a pole, I do know where to get one that is a lot less than 800.00 :D

Score: 0
BookMama Married Happily Married
Posted October 27, 2009

I would think you could substiute some piece of pipe from Home Depot, but I'm pretty cheap.

Score: 0
BookMama Married Happily Married
Posted October 27, 2009

I don't buy that Mary of Magdalene was married to Jesus. Where do you get that from? I don't think it's in any gospel, not even the more controversial ones. And how can you say she was undeniably sexual when all we know is that she was one of Jesus's followers?

Score: 0
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted October 29, 2009

Everyone has a sense of sexuality. But I'm with you BookMama. Also, I don't know why asserting Mary Magdalene's sexuality is necessary for feminism or spirituality.

Score: 0
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted October 27, 2009

I think that every time we turn ourselves into objects, we lessen ourselves as humans. And I think that stripping has that effect. Men come into clubs and view women as objects and nothing more.

That said. In a healthy relationship, that has love and respect, that stripping can augment the relationship by allowing both partners to explore sexuality. The objectification issue doesn't play a role because of the relationship between both partners.

But I do think that power derived from sexuality is a weak power. It's like men using their muscle. That's a type of power, but if that's your only power and your only means of power it ends up enslaving you more than liberating you.

Score: 1
Join the Discussion!
Login or sign up now - it's fun, easy, and free. We'll keep your seat warm for you!

Find A Pro

Complete the form below for a basic search or use our advanced search for more options.

Latest Experts

Latest registered pros on the site
Melanie Gorman
Don't rush into any kind of …
Rose Mancinelli
You are powerful, you are unique …

Expert Blog Posts

Latest posts in our expert blog
How To Get Over Your Painful Past

07/30/2010

MEMORY plays an important role in how we hold on to limiting ...

What You Don't Know Can Hurt You

07/30/2010

There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make ...

See More
x
YourTango

Get teased by YourTango!



Sign up for the latest love & relationship advice delivered to your inbox.