How To Translate Your Monster Crush Into Real Life
Do vampires, werewolves or King Kong have you clutching the sheets at night?
According to Esquire, women aren't attracted to vampires in movies and on television because they're hot—we're attracted to them because we all secretly want to have sex with gay dudes. Sorry, Robert Pattinson, turns out you just remind us of a sparkly, prancing dandy. And vampire Eric, apparently we think you would make a great addition to our next sleepover. Lemondrop: Esquire's '75 Things You Don't Know About Women'—the Best & Worst
But if we're only into vampires because we want to bone dudes playing for the other team, what about other monsters? What does it mean to be attracted to them? Lemondrop: Vampire Wedding Totally Sucks
Werewolves: If the idea of a werewolf gets your motor running, you're probably into lumberjacks. Flannel shirt? Check? Filthy Jeans? Check. A propensity for going out and getting crazy when the moon is full? Check. Or you might just be really into Mediterranean dudes, with the body hair and whatnot.
Freddy Krueger: You're just looking for a homebody. He loves little kids and will paint your fingernails for fun. He's also probably very into literature, especially Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, because he just loves speaking in rhyme, or at least making cheesy puns. Lemondrop: I'm the Daughter of a Serial Killer
Zombies: Really? Way to play it safe. Your ideal man works at an office in a cubicle. His idea of a good time is to loosen his tie and meander around aimlessly. He has a comfort zone and hates to leave it. For example, he wants the same thing for dinner every night.
Mummies: Congratulations! You, ma'am, are a gold digger.
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Discussion
What if i have a thing for Leatherface or Michael Myers where do they sit on this list does leatherface go under lumber jacks or what Help!!
