Call me crazy
Call me crazy
Call me crazy
Call me crazy but I believe it is completely possible to fall in love and marry your first boyfriend/girlfriend. I may be young and naive but why couldn't it work? I'll be the first to say that I'm a very picky person when choosing a mate. That is part of the reason that I choose to not date until my early twenties. Why should I waste my time with guys whom I knew it wouldn't work out with. That all changed when I met Andrew.
It was the summer between my junior and senior year of college. I was working at our university during a summer program for new students to save up some money for trip abroad to study in England for the remainder of the summer. Needless to say I wasn't looking for a relationship. My responsibilities included being a supervisor to the new and inexperienced student staff. After weeks of preparation, it was the day that I would officially get to meet the new staff members. I got to meet them all and promptly decided there were no "prospects" and began to plan and pack for England. What I did realize was that there were a few people that I really clicked with, including Andrew. He wasn't my type at all. Shorter than me, younger, and he was of another ethnicity than me. (I always said I thought it would be to hard to date someone from a different ethnicity, so I never considered it) But for some reason I was drawn to him. We had similar personalities, laughed at the same things, and generally just got along really well. I started to feel that perhaps this friendship was more than just a friendship to him. We'd talk almost the entire time during work, then after work we'd spend the remainder of the evening chatting online. Finally he asked me if I wanted to go out, just he and I, on a date. Me being me and being in complete denial told him that I would love to hang out with him, but lets not call it a date. So we did and surprisingly it wasn't awkward. We continued on with our friendship for the remaining weeks. Then it was time for me to move back home before I left for England.
Two days before I left for England I received a phone call from Andrew. He sounded really flustered and I could tell he needed to say something. However I was out with a friend so he asked that I call him back later that evening. You need to understand that I had never had a boyfriend before nor had had anyone ever show as much interest as he had been showing so I wasn't sure how to act. Needless to say, I didn't call him back. Perhaps i was to afraid of facing what could be or falling for someone that I didn't want to, who knows. Basically I blew him off for the second time. Around 11:00pm that night I recieved a text message from him when I was sound asleep. My face immediately broke into a smile when I realized it was from him, that's when I knew that I had fallen. There was no denying that I had feelings for him.
He told me that he had feelings for me and it suddenly hit him how strongly he felt when I was finally gone and he wouldn't see me for the next 2 and a half months. Finally after weeks of letting my head lead, I let my heart speak. I told him that I liked him also but I was confused because he wasn't what I was expecting and I needed some time to think things through.
I thought being away would mean that what ever was between us would dwindle away and I came to find out later that he felt the same way. To our surprise we did stay in touch and our relationship blossomed. We talked almost every day and when we didn't I came to find out that I missed talking to him. Being in a completely different country there were plenty of things to keep myself occupied, but in some cases I would rather come home and talk to him online. Or on the phone when he got a phone card. He even sent me a hand written letter even though we spoke every day. Needless to say I was excited to come home and start a relationship with him. We dated for about a week before we made things official. It's been almost two and a half years since we started dating. We've had our ups and downs just like everyone else. But I can't imagine my life without him in it.
So can you make it work with the first person you ever dated? I believe the answer is yes, but contingent on several factors. First: the level of maturity of the couple. I don't feel that many relationships last when the couple decides to get married right out of High School. Yes there are always exceptions to every rule, but realistically you don't even know yourself yet so how can you be sure that the person you are marrying is the right person? Second: communication. Every successful relationship has a solid foundation built with communication. If you aren't talking about problems or issues in a relationship it isn't going to work, regardless of how much in love you once were. Thirdly: Friendship. They also say that the best relationships are based on friendship then grow into love. There are certainly going to be periods during a relationship when you aren't in love with your partner, but if you have the foundation of friendship first you can certainly make to it to the next point when you're in love again. That is why I feel that you can make it work with your first love. If you're selective in the quality of person you date, not necessarily the outer appearance of a person.