Why do we hurt the ones we love? What is it about conflict that is so ingrained in our beings? Is it worth it?
Many will say no, but I would disagree. Fighting is a crucial element of any type of relationship. Whether it is the relationship with your significant other, your relationship with your family and friends or your relationship with your employer/employees; we need conflict in order to obtain peace. We were made as individuals and not a collective. We all have different feelings and different reactions to someone or some things actions. Not always will we see eye to eye, which is typically where conflict arises. This is both our cursing and blessing. You see we fight for what we believe in. We fight for what we feel is right. We fight for what we care about. But in order to evolve, we need to learn how to fight better. I wish someone would devise a way to be able to fight without harm being done. However this is a contradiction to the term fighting. Fighting implies that harms will or have been done. But there must be at least a way to avoid harm. There has to be, or it will forever be in our fate to annihilate one another.
No one is perfect in this world and therefore we will all make mistakes. I make them everyday it seems, even if I think I’m doing it right. Does that make me a bad person? Not at all. Never be ashamed of your mishaps. All mistakes are, are the events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, that are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we have chosen to go. If you made a mistake, there is always another chance. You can have a fresh start at any moment you choose. Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. Utilize the errors you make for they can be a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them.
We have all been both the guilty and the victim of mistakes, harms and conflicts. If you have been hurt, tell the other party how you feel. Try and help them understand why it hurt you, rather than lash out for the pain that has been caused. Remember that they are not you, and cannot know when something bothers you. And if you are in the wrong, don’t see it as an attack on your character. The person that you have wronged, in whatever sense of the word, is trying their best to resolve the situation so you can both find the peace that everyone deserves. The only one that really knows what is wrong is the person that is hurting. Although it can be difficult to see it from their perspective, try not to go on the defense. They are simply trying to help you understand why they feel the way they do. But most importantly, all parties must be willing to compromise. Its one thing to understand the problem, but its another to fix it.
If we constructively fight rather than point fingers at the other, we can find peace and resolve. Everything happens for a reason and it is our responsibility to take the life lesson we have learned from our mistakes. When I was a child, I put my hand in a hot water and burned myself. Do I resent the heat for causing me pain? Do I boycott water because of the harm it has done? No. I made a mistake, acknowledged the mistake and know not to do it again. We hurt, we learn, we become stronger as a whole. And one day, when the time is right we will all know peace. It might be hard to believe in times like these, but one day the world will learn that with proper mediation, love is much more rewarding than conquest. We all fight for something; let’s do it for the right reasons…
A peaceful warrior in training,