=>Guys - Clean yourselves up - Women spend a lot of money and time on creams, waxes, working out and make up. So put down the beer and iron your shirt for once. That slacker look was kind of passable at 32. By 35, even if you refuse to sell out, you need to clean up your act and stop walking around looking like you just rolled out of bed or haven't seen a barber in years. It's not cute anymore.
=>Relationship and Commitment are two different things- Just because you initiated the "where is this going" talk and he didn't immediately commit to you doesn't mean he won't or fears commitment. It means he doesn't want to commit right at that moment, and certainly not after being coerced. There's a big difference between a guy saying he doesn't want a relationship and saying he's not ready for a commitment. Men are never truly ready for a commitment. They usually find themselves committing to a woman unbeknownst to them. For guys, it has to happen organically. If you do have "the talk" with him and he does express hesitation to commit, the best way to get him to commit is to drop the subject and keep on going the way you've been going*. By not pressuring him or getting upset, you're actually showing him that you trust that he's not some selfish guy out to use you. That kind of expression of trust and calm speaks volumes ot a guy...plus it kinda makes him wonder if you've decided on your own that he's not committment material anyway. Guys expect us to push for the committment. When we don't, it makes them a little nervous. 10 Basic Rules For A New Relationship
=>If you sense something is "off" about them, there is - If someone only calls you during the day or only gives a work number or can only seem to make plans last minute, something is up. After 20 or so years of dating, your brain knows how to detect deception in many of its forms. If someone is lying to you or keeping something from you, unless they're a complete sociopath, their own anxiety about being caught will come through in their behavior. You'll know it, too.
=>No, you're not single by choice - I hate this excuse. I truly do. Sure, we'll take a sabbatical from dating every once in a while. But if you truly enjoy being single, but are dating regularly, you're not okay with being single. So stop lying to yourself because by doing so, you're attracting people who are equally confused and afraid. Stop with the excuses about refusing to conform to societal norms and for the love of God stop trying to pretend you live some Carrie Bradshaw/Mr. Big life when it's abundantly clear you're unhappy and unsatisfied. Your career and ambition has nothing to do with why, at 35, you're still single. Stop nusing it as a shield to hide behind. Why Am I Still Single?