Now at this junction, I could say that John couldn't possibly be the perfect man since I'm not attracted to him, but I just don't think it's possible to get more perfect than John. Any other guy would be a second-rate boyfriend. Comparing John to my past flings of cheaters, liars and general d-bags, he fairs like a golden god. I get so frustrated and fed up with myself for wanting to pass up this ideal man, so I try to force myself to like him. And yet, even the thought of holding John's hand still makes me feel like a pre-teen embarrassed to hold her mom's hand when crossing the street.
It's been about a month and I'm not sure how much longer I can go leading John on before it's just terribly cruel. I don't want to hurt him. But at the same time, I'm not ready to give up. I think we could have a future, but only if we take it baby steps at a time. It makes me think of that scene in "The Wedding Planner" when Jennifer Lopez's father explains that when he first met her mother he had to grow to like her, then lust after her, then love her. But it's an absurd comparison because (a) her father had a pre-arranged marriage to someone he didn't know and (b) it's a J.Lo movie. The Frisky: Bridal Magazines Are Terrible
More from YourTango: 6 Last-Minute Memorial Day Weekend Getaways For Couples
I'm fully aware that I might come off as a crazy person right now, but let's stick to the cliché that love (or hopeful love) makes people do crazy things. So I need some serious advice. Has this ever happened to you? Did it ever go anywhere? Did it fail miserably and did you stop talking? Are you married now?! Help!
Written by Justine Fields for The Frisky.