Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Boy Do I Have Issues....


To be honest, I have never been good at this whole dating thing. It's been a little more than a year since my break up with the ex I can only describe as the region's man-slut. I date often but I either fall head-over-heels for the worst guy possible (one actually had a felony) that treats me like crap or I date the good guy and let him go because of some tiny imperfection (such as big ears). I have really realized it now that I am "talking" to a guy that has been great so far. He texts me almost all day long, has a steady job, compliments me often but not so frequently that it's annoying, and calls me just to spend a couple hours chatting about whatever comes to mind. He even says he wants to get to know hopes, dreams, and desires. We get along great, too. The catch is that he lives two hours away and we aren't rich enough at the moment to see each other whenever we get the feeling to do so. This weekend is big, though. He is coming to see me. He is driving two hours to spend time with me...and even said he might spend more than just half a day with me...which means he'll get a hotel for himself. I'm in a mess of emotions about this..flattered, nervous, and completely unsure of what I want. I know he is a truly good guy, yet I can't make up my mind about where I would like this to go. I know part of my problem might be from the way my ex treated me during our relationship. It makes me want to run for the hills every time I think a guy is relationship material. I mean 15 months of getting cheated on, controlled, and isolated to the point where you are on bad terms with your family and rarely see your friends can have quite an effect on a girl. i just wish I knew how to break this cycle. I do like him. What if he is Mr. Right and I push him away? It's a vicious cycle that I can't even make up my mind to stop...


Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango