The old cliché warns against judging a book by its cover, and this is especially true when sizing up a lover. You just can't tell how sexually adventurous a person is by looking at them. Appearances don't always deceive; sometimes they just obscure the truth. And I've learned over the years that just because she looks Amish, doesn't mean she doesn't have a vibrator the size of a jackhammer under her bed. The Frisky: 21 Reasons Not To Have Sex, From A Former Prude

This fact of romance became apparent to me over the span of six months many years ago. I dated two women, and both surprised me. Take the punk rock performance artist. She had so many piercings you could hear her walk down a hall, jangling like a bouquet of keys slapping against an apartment building super's hip. She loved GG Allin, body modification magazines, and smoking hash. And when we finally slept together, with The Misfits blaring, I discovered she liked it Betty Crocker-style. The Frisky: 8 Rules For Kissing Off Your One-Night Stand

I'm not even sure any fluids were really exchanged. At any given moment, it would not have surprised me if she had produced a full-body dental dam with a hole in it. This is not to say she didn't like sex—she did. But she had a very specific, certain way of getting the job done, and it was not what I was expecting. I'm not criticizing her; for most people, their sexual palette is a grand buffet full of all-you-can-eat surprises. She liked mashed potatoes, and her sexual smorgasbord consisted mainly of mashed potatoes, and I don't think gravy was even an option. I was able, however, to convince her to leave her comfort zone and am proud to say I introduced her to the following kinks: sex on the couch, with the lights on, and on Tuesday. The Frisky: Is Sex A Tall Order When There's A Huge Height Difference?

Eventually we broke up, and I think it had something to do with the fact that I don't know how to play the guitar. The next woman I started seeing, however, was the exact opposite. She had almond eyes, a teardrop-shaped face, and was so very heartbreakingly shy and compassionate. She worked with animals and possessed a serene, beatific aura. If you cut your finger in her presence, it would suddenly zip itself up and heal. She did not strike me as someone who was sexually experienced, and I decided I would educate her in the ways of the flesh. Why? Because I'm John DeVore: The Digital Dionysus, The Ayatollah of Heartandsoula, The Clitoris Whisperer. It was I who had taught two (TWO!) women the "reverse cowgirl" position (which, in retrospect, I admit is just doggy-style for lazy men). The Frisky: MERRIme, A Web Comedy About Online Dating