To Kiss Or Not To Kiss On The First Date?
The question may seem straight out of 1950, but that doesn't mean it's not worth pondering.
Four things we know we're not supposed to do on the first date: talk only about ourselves, send text messages, explain how great the sex was with our exes, get fall-down sloppy drunk.
Two things we're told not to do, but sometimes do anyway: split the bill, have sex. The Smoking-Hot Reason To Avoid First-Date Sex
One question that probably never crosses our minds, but might be worth pondering: to kiss or not to kiss?
We know what you're thinking: Did I read that right? Did they really just tell us to consider holding off on kissing? As in, "Welcome to 1950, this is your health class, and this is how not to give boys the impression that you're a girl of loose morals"?
Well, sort of.
The thing is, we know kissing is fun. And kissing is exciting. And kissing doesn't necessarily imply any promises of further action whatsoever. Regardless, it might just be worth waiting for. How To Kiss Well
Appearing on a recent episode of the Today show, relationship expert Ian Kerner explains that holding off on a lip-lock can be a way of saying, "I see long-term potential in you."
Relaying the story of his first date with his now-wife, he says he only "kissed her on the cheek" because "I saw her as someone I really liked, not just a hook-up... I wanted a relationship."
As it so happens, many people that Today interviewed on the street agree with him, saying that kissing on the first date is a big no-no for them.
But Patty Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker, who also appeared on the show, says that a lack of mouth-to-mouth action on a first date can send off another message entirely, specifically: "I'm gay" or "I'm not interested." Can The Millionaire Matchmaker Help Me Find Love?
She does, however, concede that Kerner's reasoning is that of a gentleman. "And in this day and economy, where are the gentlemen?"
Our advice: We know every date and every situation and every person's motivations in the dating world are different. But if you think you'd like to see your date a second, third, or tenth time, it might be worth waiting for one very simple reason (the same one, in fact, a lot of people give for holding off on sex): the sweet agony and anticipation.
As Kerner says: "Enjoy the thrill of the chase. When you're in a relationship, it's about keeping the spark alive. So just enjoy it while you can."
Discussion
A single kiss on the first date is not a big deal, and helps relieve some of the tension. There's less pressure on the second date. A lot of men try to hard not to offend, or are too scared of rejection, and the women get turned off by this lack of assertiveness.
If there is a good energy and attraction on both sides, a kiss on the first date is a great idea.
I have had two dates in the past year where I figured out the men were trying to be respectful and NOT kiss me. They sort of came off afraid of me and nervous. Ultimately, I like to be kissed on the first date if I am sending out the vibe. A kiss on the cheek is a very good step in the right direction and forms an acceptable and readable bridge. Another man that only kissed me on the cheek, VERBALLY made up for not kissing me on the lips, because he said that was what he really wanted to do. He wanted to take it slow because he liked me so much. Very sweet.
I can see why not kissing on a first date could work, but i think i would get paranoid and think i did something wrong. If we were both interested in each other and wanted to see each other again i think a kiss is a good thing. No matter how many times you promise to call or say you've had a good night sealing the deal with a kiss will surely never fail-actions speak louder than words after all.
If you are tremendously attracted to your guy an innocent kiss at the end of the date seems fine to me. Why not find out right away if you want to invest more time in his kissing or not.
