My One Great Love...Wasn't

I'm sitting alone in my apartment on a rainy night. I'm restless, mildly bored, and, yes, I'll admit it, but please don't tell anyone … lonely. It's days like this that I'm sure that there's no more love in store for me—all of the epically momentous possibilities must have already passed me by. Somehow I blinked and missed them. It's in moments like this that I allow myself the small indulgence of thinking about Sebastian. The Frisky: Is Soul Mate-ism Preventing Us From Finding True Love?

Our story had all of the makings of a great love story. Once upon a time we met one evening in a dark, crowded party. He told me I was beautiful. I was young enough for him to appear larger than life. We kissed on the sidewalk in the rain. I fell hard for him—hard like scrape-me-off-the-floor-with-a-spatula hard. But we were wrong for each other in every way. We were young, immature, and troubled. It ended tragically—Sebastian stood me up on a cold, snowy New Year's Eve and the two of us never spoke again. I went on with my life. The Frisky: Six Rules For Being Friends With An Ex

I wonder what Sebastian is doing right now. I wonder if I will ever love anyone that way again—with an open heart. I decide to cruise the internet for inspiration—narrowly avoiding the temptation to do a Google search of Sebastian's name. The intention of my search?  To remind myself that love really exists. A tall, existential order for sure, yet a valid one. I practice it often. On the street, on the subway. Every time I encounter a seemingly happy couple I say to myself, "See you bitter old hag, people fall in love all the time." I find the kind of cinematic headline I'm looking for: "Gulf War Pen Pals Get Married After Facebook Encounter 19 Years Later." Touché. The Frisky: Why Do You Have Sex?