A One-Night Stand Can Actually Be Great
Casual sex, one-night stand, whatever you call it, this kind of sex can actually be good!
As a single lady who has lived in a big city for years, and now moved to a new one, I've had my fare share of one-night stands. I'd never call myself someone who makes a romantic life out of having a lot of random sex. In fact, my heart stands more on the traditional side where I look for sex after the relationship connection, knowing I usually wind up hurt in casual flings and that I actually disdain the thought of adding another one-nighter to my "list." The Frisky: 5 Things I'd Do Differently If I Re-Lived My Single Life
Knowing human nature, it seems inevitable that the slip-up is bound to happen several more times (I tally five now). For the most part, these one-nighters have never been calculated. They've always happened when I'm emotionally vulnerable, usually from a breakup. The guys I've usually met in bars, and I stereotypically end up taking them home due to vodka goggles. At the end of each, I've woken up with a pounding headache, slightly startled by the aroma of male B.O. in my room, eventually recalling, in an embarrassing flashback, what occurred a few hours earlier. Ack!! Why did you do that? Did you really, really need to get laid last night? Sudden memory: Me saying to my girlfriend, "It is imperative I get laid right now." Oops. I'm guilt-ridden for days. And I now also have to wash my sheets. The Frisky: Standing Up For One Night Stands
While I know I'll never be one of those women who claims to be liberated by non-committal sex (do they even really exist?), I decided to look at things differently with a recent experience. A few nights ago, I was basically presented with the option. "You should meet my hot friend, Brad*," a girlfriend in a different state told me. "He'll be in your city for a few days." Translation: "You can almost definitely have sex with nice dude if you want." This, along with the facts that Brad lives halfway across the world, was in town for two days only, and knew I didn't have a lot of friends in my new city, spelled perfect hookup. Not to mention that having a common pal greatly eliminated the chances of Brad being a psycho killer. The Frisky: 4 Signs He's Not The One
So when he did end up calling and asking to make plans a mere two hours before they would begin, I decided to run with the obvious. True, it had been a few months since my last hookup, but that wasn't the motivation here. It's not like I had been going around yelling, "I'm having a dry spell! I have to have sex right now." But for the first time ever, I realized I had the opportunity to say to myself, "Do you want to consciously make the decision to do it tonight with a dude you'll probably never see again?" Hmm ...
Discussion
Happens all the time... I am always surprised when studies come out and the average number of lovers a woman has had in her life is 7....
Get real.... guys like Brad don't count... be nice to have some honesty... especially as the average number guys have is 15...
Women still think guys will look down on them if they have had more than a handful of lovers... this is not true... what they think is she is not being honest, and whatelse is she not telling me
Actually, the typical number of lovers is only 3 for women and 8 for men. According to the experts, the difference between men and women is due to a few women who have sex with very large numbers of men.
The number may sound low, but it seems to be fairly consistent for what experts find when they use more scientific survey techniques.
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
I suspect that we all tend to hang out with people who are more like us. This makes us think that everybody is doing the same thing as we are. This seems to me to apply to other things like our perception of how many people are divorced vs married a long time or how many women are staying home with their children vs working all-out full-time.
Interestingly, even the yourtango on-line poll found that 80% of the people who answered had fewer than 20 partners and most had 10 or less, although you might expect a fairly large number from the comments, etc.
http://www.yourtango.com/200929252/how-man-people-have-you-slept
