There are good and bad ways to pop the question.
Reed Harris wanted his proposal to Kaitlin Whipple to be memorable. He decided that the best way to achieve this was to take her to Wendy's with a bunch of friends, drop her engagement ring into her Frosty milkshake, and propose to her once she came across the ring. In order to speed along the proceedings, an eating contest was suggested to see who at the table could finish their Frosty first.
But then the unexpected happened: Whipple won the eating contest, swallowing down the Frosty in a matter of seconds without ever realizing there was a ring inside it. Of course, an X-ray, lots of prune juice and a handful of television appearances followed, and now the ring is safely on Whipple's finger.
In our opinion, this might be the worst proposal we've ever heard of. Not because Whipple ate the ring, but because from the get-go it was tacky, unromantic, and breaking three out of the seven rules most intelligent people already know when it comes to popping the question. Along with that, here are seven ways to propose that are awful... so don't even THINK about trying them.
1. At a restaurant or fast food joint
We know what you're thinking: "But we met at TGI Fridays!". That's too bad. A restaurant means there's an audience. A restaurant means there's the potential for a lot of embarrassment should tears (of either joy or rejection) arise. Also, it's totally unromantic to have to sit at the table waiting for the check to show up after being asked the most important question of one's romantic life.
2. In front of family and friends
It's bad enough being proposed to in a public place. But the pressure (and lack of romance) is even worse when you're surrounded by friends and family. What if you two really want to get it on after the question is popped? What if the friends or family jump in when you don't want them to? What if the answer is really, "No, I don't want to marry you"?
3. By putting the ring in your beloved's food
First, because food is sticky, gooey, and oftentimes greasy. Second, because human waste is sticky, gooey, and oftentimes greasy. And when a ring gets swallowed, it usually ends up sticky, gooey, and greasy in both ways.
4. In a dangerous place
A man in Maryland once proposed to his girlfriend on the rough and rocky Billy Goat Trail, near Great Falls national park. Not long afterward, she fell off the side of a rock face and had to be rescued by a U.S. Park Police helicopter. Obviously, this was a bad way to propose. First, because a proposal can make a person shaky and excited and less agile. Second, because if your beloved says "no" to your proposal and then falls off a cliff, you might look like a suspect should any injuries arise.
5. On television
This includes those giant screens at baseball games, community access television, and videos you plan to upload to YouTube. Seriously, if you think the restaurant proposal comes with a lot of potential headaches, just wait for thousands of people in a stadium to turn the pressure on.
6. With a ring that you once proposed to someone else with
Sure, that last person didn't work out, and sure, you'd hate for a perfectly good ring to go to waste. But really, this is just tacky.
7. By having sex first and proposing second
First, cliche. Second, do you really mean it or is it just the good sex? Your fiance may never know.