Should I Tell My Husband I Cheated?
Cheating and honesty. Is it really the best policy?
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Discussion
I can only hope I am not too late, but let me offer my 2 copper engravings of the Great Emancipator, from a man's perspective.
Telling him now so that he doesn't find out later is like shooting yourself today in order to prevent the possibility of getting cancer when you're 60.
It hurts just to think that my fiance could do that. I have seen too many things I wish I could forget. I do not believe for one nanosecond that she ever would, but IF she did, I can tell you this much : First, I would forgive her, without a doubt - but I could never forget. I would simply rather die.
As a veteran, it is my experience that there are some things you are simply better off never seeing, and never knowing. Trust can no more feed on admissions of infidelity than Fire can feed on water.
Remember than men do not think the way women do. You may think that its forgivable because you had no emotional involvement - that you can reason with him by telling him you love only him and have no interest in the man you slept with. Emotional infidelity is essentially a female concept. I've waxed philosophical, now let me be as blunt as a sledgehammer :
For reasons of evolutionary psychology, the only thing that matters to men is this :
She let another guy stick his **** in her. Whether you give a s**t about him or not.
I lean towards Aireens If you feel like not doing it again good .But in my opinion DO NOT TELL, EVER . God is the one who has to know and He already knows,. You already did enough damage to your marriage to yourself and to him.Do not make it worse. If you want to stay with him... don't tell and try to mend your ways if you want to leave him do it but ...don't tell
In time like a boomerang it may come back to you but in the meantime be a good wife and lover if you chose to stay If you don't care enough about him leave him
You need to weigh carefully why you are wanting to tell him about the infidelity. If it was a one time thing and your relationship with your current love is going well then it is only to ease your conscience that you want to tell him. If you feel you are not going to be able to be faithful then you might need to disclose this fact and be prepared to break his heart. If you are planning on staying with him and being faithful from this point on then it is kinder and more loving to bear the guilt of your transgression yourself...you comitted the act and you should bear the shame yourself not seek to share it with another person.
That being said these things have a habit of coming out no matter what you decide, I wish you good luck.
Even though my husband had a 3 year affair, he flipped his lid when I told him I had given out my phone number to a couple of guys just before I found out what he was doing. (I knew something was going on with him, but I didn't know what- so I had decided to give my number out for a possible friendship out side the marriage.) Even though I just talked to the men once or twice vs. his two years (with a woman that was an ex friend), he really didn't take the info well and equates it to his three year affair. Men take even the smallest infidelity much harder than most women. If I were you, I would not disclose anything more than you already have.
Personally,I believe that if you're gonna have a lasting relationship with somebody it should be based on mutual trust and honesty,not lies and secrets. So,if it were me,I would have to tell the truth. Yes,sometimes the truth hurts,but in the long run lies hurt more.
