When An Ex Gets Married…And You're Still Single

By YourTango

When An Ex Gets Married…And You're Still Single

So imagine my shame upon discovering how nasty I could feel toward a person. After the breakup, I'd get messages from Holland where Martin admitted life wasn't so swell. When he confessed to feeling lost, I was pleased. When a new romance he'd begun fizzled, I cackled like a demon. In the film Sexy Beast, Ben Kingsley plays a maniac who wants to ruin his ex-girlfriend's new relationship with another man, telling them, "I won't let you be happy, why should I?" Seeing the movie after Martin's departure, I thought, 'I'm with you, Ben.'

Flash forward to 2009 where Martin had become a fond but distant memory…until I saw his wedding photo. As if the wind had been knocked out of me, I ran from the house and roamed the streets with tears streaming down my cheeks like a disoriented victim of a car crash.

Blubbering on the phone with a friend about how one of the great loves of my life had gone on to find happiness without me, I started listening to my own complaints. The conversation began with Martin, but moved onto the men I'd known since him, and ended with my feelings about my career. Whether I was getting closer or farther away from my goals. Whether my life was rich enough to keep my creative fire burning. Whether I still liked the neighborhood I was living in, whether my friendships were supportive enough, whether it was time to rethink my relationship with my finances. Dumped? 10 Healthy Ways To Heal

Really, I was agonizing about everything that was supposed to have happened in my life since I last saw Martin, including finding someone I cared about as much as him. A fragment of my heart still burst knowing he was someone else's passion or problem. But if I was satisfied with my own world, I wouldn't give a rat's behind about his.

In the end, I was able to wish Martin happiness. I'm glad for him and hope he makes the best of his new life.

Meanwhile, I've got my own work to do.

Most Popular
Must-see Videos
Stories we love