Is It Ok To Ask My Boyfriend To Marry Me?
A user asks for feedback on women proposing marriage to men.
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Discussion
I think it's a wonderful you want to ask your boyfriend to marry you. I like a woman who has some guts and isn't afraid to go after what she wants. You only get one chance to walk through life, so go for it. I think teardrops of joy would escape from my eyes if a woman I loved asked me to marry her.
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THE FACT IS IT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND I RECOMMEND, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW HIM AND WHY HE HAS NOT ASKED YOU TO GET MARRIED. MAKE SURE HE FEELS SECURE AND IS COMFORTABLE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. DOES HE KNOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO MARRY HIM AND HE IS FOR SURE THE ONE, AND IS HER TRULY SINGLE.
ARE YOU IN A POSITION TO ASK AND FOLLOW THROUGH AS THE MAN NORMALLY DOES WHEN HE ASKS HIS CHOICE FOR MARRIAGE. MY PERCEPTION ONLY, IF YOU TAKE THE POSITION OF ASKING HIM TO MARRY YOU; I THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE YOU ARE IN THE APPROPIATE POSITON TO FOLLOW THROUGH AND NOT HAVE ANY REGRETS IF HE RUNS OR SHUNS FROM THE CHOICE AND BE ABLE TO HAVE ONLY POSITIVE INTENTIONS WITH THE MARRIAGE...NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY.
LIFE IS A RISK, JUST BE HAPPY AND DO IT FOR THE RIGHT REASON IN BOTH YOUR LIVES...MAYBE IF I HAD ASKED AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, I MIGHT BE MARRIED; NO WAY BAD CHOICES WAITING FOR MR SIMPLE...
It's ok for a woman to discuss marriage in the abstract with her man, but leave the asking to him. He wants to retain his manhood and by her asking, she's taken that away from him. Ideally, he should have discussed marriage with her before ever popping the question. No one wants any unpleasant surprises when it comes to the actual proposal.
I still tend to find that archaic. Its kind of like saying because I like an occasional froo-froo drink that my manhood should be questioned. I know that there are many people out there who still think its a man's job to do the asking, but I don't agree with the mindset behind it.
If having a woman who loves and cares about her guy deeply enough, who believes that its the right time for them, to ask for his hand in marriage is an assault on his manhood then he really needs to re-evaluate what it means to be a man.
Some times women know that the relationship is ready before men do. I'm not talking about the sterotypical need for comitment and marriage, but that they as a couple are actually ready. Why should she be faulted for that? Why should she wait for him to ask? He may want it as well but, with as clueless as most men tend to be at reading subtle hints, he may not think its what she is ready for or wants.
This is the point where many say the guy should just grow a set, man up, and propose. So why can't women do this same thing if its what they want? I'm not trying to get men off the leash, but there are far more important things that define what it means to be a "man" than accepting a marriage proposal from your GF.
I'm with you on this Lyz, I don't see anything wrong with the woman asking for marriage. It is a relationship, and it is a partnership of sorts, so there should be nothing wrong with it. I also don't see how it really sets up the whole "she'll have to drive the relationship" thing. I can see all these things like marriage, children, and sex being discussed by her bringing it up, but thats a good thing.
I've got a couple married friends whose GFs did the asking and I haven't seen any problems with their marriages.
wait, why is this such a bad thing? I don't get it? I agree she should feel him out for whether or not he's ready to commit, but I don't get why proposing is a bad thing? And if driving the relationship is a bad thing? Why let the guy do it? Isn't this a partnership? Don't get it M&T
