Inside The National Cougar Convention

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Inside The National Cougar Convention
Our writer gives us the inside story on the cougars and cubs at the national convention.

"I'm here to get laid," said their leader, a forceful, sarcastic Asian guy. "And you can quote me on it." When I asked how he'd found out about the convention, he replied, "My mom told me about it." As with nearly everything else they said, I couldn't tell if they were full of it, or if there was a kernel of truth.

There were plenty of shy types in attendance, too. Unlike their more boisterous brethren, I didn't see them aggressively approaching the women around them. My few attempts to engage them in conversation tended to trail off quickly.

 

"Glad to see you made it in," I said to Steve, a squat fellow with a buzz cut I had seen earlier, moping about in the "no tickets" line. He nodded in return and wandered off, presumably to look innocent and prey-like. I think the quiet guys signed up for the convention hoping to meet aggressive, take-charge women. For their sake, I hope they found what they were looking for. Life isn't easy for shy types stuck in "Man Jose." 5 Shy-Guy Pick-Up Moves

Finally, as reported by my Twitter spy, the douchebags were out in full force. They set themselves apart with their tight shirts, slicked hair, and orange tans. They reminded me of Will Ferrell's character in Wedding Crashers; it was too easy to imagine them hanging out at funerals trying to pick up grieving widows.

In contrast, most of the cougars I met seemed to belie the leopard-print and botox stereotype.

"When I got an email about the event, I said, 'That sounds so tacky and fun, I just have to go!'" said Cindy, a tall, confident brunette sipping a glass of chardonnay. She and her friend Cynthia said that mature women have little choice other than to target younger men. Can Marrying Someone Younger Make You Live Longer?

"All men my age want to do is sit around watching television," Cynthia said. "I'd rather be out riding my bike. My God, it's noon on a Sunday, it's beautiful out, and all they can think of is watching sports."