25-Year Age Difference: Can It Work?


age difference
She was 17, he was 42. Advice about how one couple handled their age difference.

Of course all these benefits come with a price, like the dark winter day I crouched in his attic before being confronted by his wife, or the mix of euphoria and complete self-hatred I felt the warm summer morning Tom and I drove away from his home, leaving behind his wife and two young children. But it's said that nothing in life is easy, so when I found true love—the man I firmly believe to be my soul mate—I didn't walk away because the situation was complex. If living with Tom's children on weekends meant I could live with Tom for the rest of my life, I was game. It wasn't a difficult decision to make.

In any relationship, you learn to take the good with the bad, but when you get involved with a much older man, you definitely have to be prepared to be judged. People, other women mostly, will wonder if you have ulterior motives and think there is no substance or love to your relationship, just blow jobs for money. Middle-aged women often gave us looks of total disdain, and one even flipped us the bird on our wedding day.


Add to that your parents, who are likely to be concerned about your well-being. They'll wonder if you'll truly be happy with someone who was out of college before you were even born. They may mention that he'll likely die before you and that you'll be left alone. My parents were certainly filled with anxiety about my decision, but I stood my ground and let them know they could not force me to change the way I felt. My mom came around to the idea faster than my father, as I think is to be expected. After she spent time with Tom, she understood why I was in love. So while you may be tempted to keep your parents and your older man apart, letting them interact is crucial. Let them see why he makes you smile. Marrying An Older Man Meant Widowhood at 34

There's also the question of fidelity: If your older guy left his wife or girlfriend for you, who's to say he won't do it again? I say not to worry—if your love is genuine, your relationship built on trust, and you keep a spicy sex life and communicate freely with one another, then he's probably not going to leave you.

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