How Saying 'No' Will Help You Find Love

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New dating advice: say "no" instead of "yes" when looking for Mr. Right.

But isn't this just some re-packaged formulation of the over-tried "he's just not that into you" credo? Because he is into me, you argue. "He is, he is, he is," at least you think so. At least that's what all the signs are pointing towards. (He is following you on Twitter, after all.) 21 Twitter Pick-Up Lines (er, Tweets)

Sure. Maybe. Perhaps. Things are looking good. But if you're looking for a modern girl's version of those heart-stopping tales of love of old, when "love had words and deeds that meant something, had teeth, bespoke of unwavering commitment that defined the very essence of the lover," Wareham writes, "stand your ground and remain cool and calm."

 

Or, more specifically, don't always say yes. Turn off your cell phone, let his call go to voice mail, stop obsessively updating your various social-networking statuses, stop going to his MySpace page, tell him you have plans, and be cool, baby, be cool. Carry on with your life, don't rush in. Take time. Get to know him. Remain strong and confident in your independence. Key To Finding A Good Man? Self-Respect

Don't be available until you're fully ready to be available—and knowing when takes time.

Learning to remain just out of reach while you assess the candidate vying for your affection isn't regressive; it's "what our boys in camouflage call recon and our mothers call not being a little fool," she implores.

That's right, playing the game of no goes well beyond playing hard to get. How he handles your "no"s, along with whether or not he's "yes"-sing the relationship to death (there are such things as needy, emotionally suffocating men) are all important criteria for judging whether or not you two will indeed make it to that coat-tails-and-Vera picture of perfection anyway. 7 Men We'd Like To Date

For more specifics on how to "warm up your no," spot a needy over-attacher and manage your cell phone strategy, check out the book—it's a Love Buzz recommendation.