Our good friends Em & Lo informed us yesterday that a wedding band is the #1 male power accessory needed to lure in the ladies. (Gross.) Indeed, a recent study at Oklahoma State University confirms what legions of men have sworn since the beginning of time: women are twice as likely to want a relationship with a man who's already taken. (Gross.)
While we can't speak for all women on those allegations, we've crafted a single guy checklist that we think works as well (if not better!) than a wife or fiancee sleeping at home. Don't forget these must-have items the next time you go out on the town looking for love.
1. Give good eye contact: We're aware of how basic this sounds. Almost in the same league as "say hello" but we cannot stress enough how often this simple social pleasantry is butchered. If you're new to this, start out slow and look us in our eyes, not at the girl walking up the steps behind us.
2. Wear a killer scent: Please approach cologne like you would flattery. Laying it on thick seems tacky and don't go for cheap and obvious. A light spritz is all it takes to let us know you've entered our space.
3. Acknowledge the international signal for 'back off.' We suddenly have to pee. We text and a friend appears. We scoot away, mentioning a purse, bag, bartender, ATM, a slice of pizza that needs to be found/retrieved/eaten. We want to leave. And we're trying to be polite. Please take the hint. Thanks.
4. Lend an attentive ear. We want to know all about why you think Obama's healthcare plan sucks, your musical gripes with the Arctic Monkeys, and how your neighborhood has the best Thai in the whole city. Really. We do. But if we're rattling on about the epiphany we had while backpacking through Greece, PIPE DOWN AND LISTEN. Refer to #1. Wait for a pause, another beat for good measure, and then politely work in your opinions about hostels in Amsterdam.
5. Sport a big-boy accessory. Spending a month's pay on a gold medallion isn't going to charm the pants off us. But never underestimate the brownie points you'll earn when we surreptitiously notice a nice, understated watch. Or pair of shoes, a slick jacket or a nifty haircut. Just a sprinkling to let us know you've progressed beyond backwards baseball caps and basketball jerseys.