How to deal with an attachment to your ex, even after the love is gone.
Sometimes people move away from a marriage as they become involved in a new relationship. Often the new relationship is an affirmation during a vulnerable time that you are lovable, fun and sexy—contrary to how your spouse is treating you. It can be a chance to act on fantasies that were irresistible to think about. After several months of an affair or an open relationship within a separation, the new relationship may begin to deteriorate. It was a bridge through a transition, but not a good choice for a long term commitment. Read: How an Affair Saved My Marriage
For all of these reasons, it is natural to have conflicting feelings. Long after love fades away, attachments can continue. The dependency, the comfort of the familiar, and the memories all contribute to difficulty in letting go. Angry feelings often co-exist with longing for the familiar spouse. Sex With My Ex: What Does It Mean?
It is not unusual to experience a flurry of intimacy with your ex-spouse, when you turn to each other sexually for some of the needs you each have, to hold on to the past, or just to release some tension between you. While such activity is common, and natural, be aware that it can be very confusing. One of you can easily get hurt when you attribute more meaning to the intimacy than was intended, or sustainable. You may also experience guilt and renewed pain. You may sleep together one night and wonder bitterly what is wrong with you in the morning.
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— written by Diana Mercer
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