So You Want To Ask Him Out? Read On


So You Want To Ask Him Out? Read On

ladies, please don't use "maybe he's just shy" as an excuse to justify your own
restlessness or anxiety. Yeah, maybe he is shy. But the chances that every other
guy you meet is "too shy" is not likely. If a guy is interested enough, he'll
get your number, find you, Facebook search you, etc. If you're frequently taking
the reins, then that's a sign that maybe you come across too aggressive and
scare the guys off. And most men will walk away from a woman who is too
aggressive. Which brings me to my next point:

Learn The Difference Between Assertive&
You want to call a guy and ask him out? Okay, do it. But if he says he'll
follow up with you to confirm and doesn't, don't follow up with him. If you call
and leave a voicemail or send him an email, leave it at that. And if he does
reply and you have a simple back and forth, know the signs when he's trying to
disengage. Do his messages/comments get shorter? Do his sign offs seem final?
Does his voice trail off? He's either busy at work or has something else to do.
Or he's not interested. Does he gloss over your suggestion to get together? Does
he always have excuses why he can't meet up? More often than not, he's ignoring
the request for a reason. Do not push for an answer or try to continue the
exchange because you're uncomfortable with his perceived lack of interest. You
put it out there. Now let him follow up.
Also make note of what can be perceived as aggression from men. Spirited
debates are great. But make your point and drop it. Teasing is cute, ball
busting and emasculating is not. Passionate is okay, loud and bawdy usually
isn't. Bottom line: Men want a lady. Women want a gentleman.
Don't Take It Personally Or Try To Fix It
Sometimes, it just isn't a match. So be it. Don't try to make it fit. You
can't let yourself become invested to someone's reaction to you. Many times we
think we can get a do over. There are very few dating do-overs. Let it go, learn
from it, delete them from your phone and facebook and move on to your next
prospect. Don't dwell. You can't assume YOU did something wrong just because one
person or even two doesn't return your interest. However, if you find yourself
consistently rejected - and this goes for men and women - then you may want to
consider the following possibilities:
1. You're trying to date of your league- Yep, there are
leagues, just like in high school. Life is not a John Hughes movie. The pretty
popular girl and the burnout typically don't date. Neither do the jock and the
oddball. Get a really honest perspective on who you are and accept it. That
means embracing and accepting your body, your age, your lifestyle and stop
trying to delude yourself. Many people have types. Doesn't make them wrong or
bad or even shallow. It means they are attracted to certain people, and not
attracted to others. We're attracted to what we know and feel comfortable with.
But we're also, to our detriment, drawn to people that we think will provide us
with social proof.
2. You show poor form - Remember, confidence is key for
both men and women.


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