?" "What's the last movie you saw?" Study: Children Do Not Make Couples Any Happier
Why choose to be child-free? Well there are the selfish reasons (that's what you tell me, I'm selfish) such as wanting a clean house, peace and quiet, financial and personal freedom, as well as an identity that isn't bound to someone much younger than you. Then there is the "carbon footprint," impact on society, society's impact on the child, and overpopulation. Those are real concerns, but for our primary ones.
We're very free people and enjoyed fulfilling single lives before marrying. It's been a journey to merge those lives alone that adding another wouldn't give us the opportunity to learn about one another. Sure, after eighteen years the kids move away (but that's not so sure anymore) and then you have time, but until they move out it's all about the kids. I want it to be all about my husband; my happy, funny, loving, appreciative, and adorable husband. I want his life to be all about me, too.
If I re-read this I would agree that I'm selfish. I'd rather be selfish, know it and not have a child than to do otherwise. Don't you? I've read your stories about resenting moms that have (or make) time to spend on themselves. "They should be taking care of their kids!" you say. "How dare they improve themselves? I can't!" But shouldn't you be happy that people, who know they don't want to have kids, don't have them? How many people have children, don't appreciate it, end up on Nanny 911 because they don’t have a clue as to what they're doing and ruin a child's life? No parent really looks happy in the grocery store or mall. Few look happy when they’re in the park with their kids. Why would I follow in those footsteps?
I see having a child as a status symbol. It's like that huge one day event we call a wedding (didn't have one of those either) The months of preparation, cute little clothes and toys, the parties and such that results in a day of labor and boom ... reality—marriage and/or child.