man tosses out his number to a woman and doesn't ask for hers, it's a
bad, bad sign. Throw it away. He's not serious. He just wants to see if
you'll call him. A man who is truly interested is going to make sure he
gets the number and makes a plan.He's not going to leave it up to
anyone else to do the work for him. He will go for what he wants. There
should be a mutual exchange of information. Tolerate laziness from
moment one and you'll be combating it throughout the relationship,
however long it lasts.
I'm also wary of a guy who, after chatting
a woman up for ten or less minutes, ask for her number then departs.
Number collector! How do you know after 10 minutes you want to have
coffee with me other than you think I'm cute? Guys who chat me up in
computer stores or book stores make me wonder if they're hanging there
looking for prey. Creepy. Oh, and if you're using online dating? Do NOT
aks a woman out in your first 2-3 e-mails. That's another red flag that
makes me think a guy is up to no good or just woefully inept at
relationships in general.
I'm not an advocate of women asking men
out. But, for those of you who are, maybe you can compromise a bit and
- when it appears the conversation is headed in that direction by the
flirting and energy going on - offer the guy your number and then tell
him he should call you sometime to continue the conversation. THEN
LEAVE OR WALK AWAY. Try not to spend the whole night focused on just
one guy at a party or get together. Circulate. There's nothing wrong
with having a pair and a spare, as they say. They all serve as good
buffers between you and getting too invested too soon. Plus, you don't
want to spend all your time devoting your attention to one guy AND
giving him your number. Game over. He knows you're interested. But if
you walk away and talk to others, he'll be more intrigued. You'll show
him that you have plenty of other interests and options and don't
"need" to make sure he's interested.Plus, you'll be less likely to be
swept up in the moment and leave together, head home and do the
It's all about keeping a healthy perspective and not getting carried away.