The practice of “clowning” has grown to such proportions that there is now a Stop Clown Porn Now organization, complete with website (stopclownpornnow.org). This grassroots campaign is on a mission to stop the clownsploitation “of the power of the clown archetype.” Worse, the degradation of clowns is likely to lead to the increase chance that “a legitimate clown will be abused by a wrong-headed clown parpaphiliac.”
The group is also working hard to stem the tide of non-clown actors usurping the work of true professionals. Bogus Bozos you’re on notice. (I figure it’s only a matter of time before PETA springs to action over the inhumane treatment of chickens. Imagine the psychological damage poultry endure being squeezed between Big Bertha’s bazookas.)
So now I’m left with unwanted images of filthy hat tricks, clowns pulling yards and yard of silk scarves out of someone’s ass, and a growing suspicion of unicycles at masturbatory implements. I’ve had to delete Judy Collins’ rendition of “Send in the Clowns” from my iPod, and it will take more than time to delete the thought of ejaculatory clownsters from my neural pathways. I’m desperately in need of deprogramming. Where is the website for that?