4 Signs He'll Be Good In Bed
Four signs a roll in the hay is worth it before an article of clothing comes off.
One could definitely, definitely make the argument that good sex is so elusive that it's near impossible to spot it walking down the street, approaching at Happy Hour or sharing coffee with you. One Night Stand Dos And Don'ts
We'd agree. What gets one carnally revving is often an annoying and subjective mix of timing, emotional meshing and a pH balance of hormones and dirty talk all swathed together in Egyptian cotton bed sheets.
But this doesn't mean we still can't bounce around ideas in an attempt to save ourselves the agony of an added number without the benefit of at least an erotic memory or two.
1.) He's An Overachiever In Life
Pay very close attention to how he views his day-to-day activities. Does he take his job seriously? Does he set ambitious goals? Would his work ethic impress Donald Trump? Glad we brought up Trump—don't worry so much about money. Not all career paths assure a big pimpin' pay check: sadly time and effort aren't always monetarily compensated. But is there passion? Or is he happily just a cog in the wheel?
2.) He Has A Semi-Relaxed View Of Sex
Yes, sex can be a wordless expression of intense romantic feelings, but sometimes an apple is just an apple. Or rather, a roll in the hay is just a roll in the hay. The more relaxed he is about sex, the less chance a deep-seeded, guilt-inducing Puritan voice screaming: intercourse is dirty! lurks in his subconscious. You don't want to find this out when you're naked ready to try fifth base, or happily regaling the time in college when you had a foursome. "Back Door" Sex For Beginners
3.) He Looks You In The Eye (And Always Has)
We can't stress enough how much genuine confidence trickles down to his bedtime behavior. Does he look you in the eye? Is he man enough to ask you out? Does he keep his word? Can he let you down gently? Or does he make up crazy, stuttering excuses? Can he express his true opinions or does he just regurgitate what you say?
4.) Is He Spontaneous?
Watch how he reacts when you throw a curveball into the night's established plans. Does he get overly agitated? Does he need everything controlled and in it's place? If so, just imagine how he'd react to a quickie in the park or the kind of earth-rattling sex that causes a broken lamp or alarm clock. You want someone easy breezy enough to have a sense of adventure and flexible enough to be down for unorganized experimenting. Sex is an art, after all.
Discussion
Okay, I see the point about honesty.
I'm still not sure about ambition, although I may have to defer to other's experiences. It seems to me that an overachiever in bed could be annoying. They might also be too busy most of the time, so even if the sex were good, it would be rare. Someone who was less ambitious, on the other hand, might be more willing to spend the day in bed.
BookMama: Honesty is important because when a person lies they create a wall between themselves and the outside world - in this case, their sexual partners. If someone is lying out of the sack then the are less inclined in the sack, just to let themselves go with the flow. I have met men who on one meeting may seem, sexually, the best thing since sliced bread but when you go for another helping or 3, you quite often find that the ones who live their lives by lying to get laid or just lying in general are often "one-trick ponies" and are doing the same routine over and over. Lying by anyone goes against the nature of our human experience. That goes for the lies that people tell to "keep from hurting someone else's feelings." Those are tied up with fear and control issues.
Honesty is important because if, as Melissa says-"Can he express his true opinions or does he just regurgitate what you say?" then the conversation flows no matter the subject. It brings out curiosities and knowledge from him and you. If he is honest in discussion then he will be honest in bed. Also, when you get married you don't look at each other and think "Who the heck are you?"
DH and my first date lasted for hours sitting at the same dinning table. I have no idea if he had other plans for the rest of our first date, the conversation was that interesting. Yet, what was discussed about our views and of sex is what brought us together, and after 23 years of marriage he still curls my toes and wrinkles my nose! Maybe TMI, but since the kids left, we still learn new things and try them, and are not limited but more liberated/free. So, he is free to make me scream! Imagine that.....he gives a whole new meaning to talking in tongues! Forgot I had it in me. LOL
Just My 2cnts
Bright Blessings,
LyndaW
I don't know, maybe it's a work ethic thing, but I've found that guys who set high standards for themselves in the working world are also overachievers in bed.
I think I was saying men who are confident enough to be honest with you are more comfortable with themselves, i.e. probably better in bed.
Like i said in the top paragraph, good sex is way too subjective to spot on the street. But it's still fun to brainstorm.
Yup it's VERY subjective. One woman's great sex can be another's disaster. If I refer to my "first-hand" experience, you girls like very different things from one another and sometimes in a very surprising way.
Arguably, the ultimate male sexual partner is someone who can figure out your various expectations and adapt to them, in other words a guy that's accumulated multiple experiences and tried it all.
I know some people who would call them pervs ;-)
Of course!
There was something missing in my wording: I meant "the ultimate male sexual partner that is good in bed regardless of who he's sleeping with". I think Melissa's list is more oriented to sexual partners that are not necessary in the context of a long-term relationship.
I think there might a guy who's good for all women--a man who gets as much (or more) pleasure out of giving pleasure than receiving, and thus pays exquisite attention to a woman's reactions. He would constantly be recalibrating himself as she reacts to what he does. In a long-term relationship there'd have to be some give and take, but if you're talking about just sex, without the benefit of an LTR, this kind of guy could be the ultimate...
I can see how it helps to be spontaneous and not have guilt-complexes, but how does honesty figure in? It's great for relationships, but how exactly do you think it makes him a better lover?
I'm not sure I agree with the driven by ambition one. It seems to me that a guy who's driven by ambition may be too busy for sex.
Here's my addition - he cares about you.
