Vince and the gang teach us a lot about living and a little about love.
HBO's smash hit Entourage is an illustration of many things: a celeb-obsessed culture, boys-will-be-boys Peter Pan-ism, conspicuous consumption, a consequence-free hook-up atmosphere and me-too voyeurism… but it also provides a few lessons to be learned. The show, loosely based on Mark Wahlberg's rise to fame in Hollywood, isn't all fast cars, fellatio and fart jokes. The bromance between Vince, Eric, Johnny Drama, Turtle and Ari provides the show's spine but romance pokes its head in there a time or two as well.
Here's what the crew has taught us about relationships:
1. Be careful when you kiss and tell. As a bunch of swinging d*cks, the gang feels obligated to crow about their sexual conquests but by mentioning his first-class hand-shandy, Turtle almost blows his chances with Jamie Lynn Sigler. Read: Is It Better For A Guy To Be Funny Or Rich?
2. Honesty is the best gift of all. Ari seems to always be slipping out of some noose of his own creation with Mrs. Ari. The truth generally sets the wily agent free and is much cheaper than luxury automobiles.
3. Dating a coworker is dangerous. Vince and Mandy Moore nearly ruin Aquaman (not to mention Mandy's engagement) with their hanky-panky. Cooler heads prevail, professionalism is restored and Aquaman goes on to make a fictional $116 million over its first three days.
4. Be alert, be smart, but do not jump to conclusions. Johnny Drama is a master of imagining the worst. The years have not been kind to the former Viking Quest star, and he is immediately ready to believe that everyone is out to get him. His jealousy and suspicion have caused him no shortage of career and relationships problems. He may have recently done irreparable damage to his career. Watch: How To Curb Jealousy: A Green-Eyed Monster's Tips
5. If you love something… let it go. Vince has fired E and Ari on a few occasions only to reunite with them in a hail of back-pounding embraces ("hug it out, bitch") and guy giddiness. Appreciate what you have, but give it a little space.
6. It's really, really hard to be friends with an ex. For Eric, Sloan is the one who got away and the stick by which all future romance will be measured… and he wants to try to be friends with her. Not a good sign for future relationships, speaking of which. Read: Can You Really Be "Just Friends" With An Ex?
7. Say the right name. E may have permanently ruined things with his dreadful girlfriend by calling her by the wrong name. If you feel you might get Freudian with first names, stick with nicknames; "Kiddo" can be basically anyone. Read: 5 Tricks To Remembering His Name
8. Your body is probably OK. Johnny Drama is no spring chitlin. As his old headshots show, the actor hasn't aged particularly well, but calf-implants are never the answer. Be yourself—that's what's really cool, Drama. Read: Inner Beauty: What Men Don't Tell You
9. Be wary of bringing a third person into the bedroom. For a sensitive, sweet guy Eric sure has a lot of relationship problems. E gets the super-special scenario when Sloan invites her pal Tori for a threesome. E, naturally, breaks a threesome law and catches feelings for Tori. Read: 6 Reasons To Bail On A Threesome
10. Be careful of couples skating. Through thick and thin, the guys always have each other. The girls, money and fame may not last, but good friends will always be around if you're around for them. While "bros before hos" is a little silly, not forgetting your homies is a good policy. Read: 5 Ways To Keep Friends After You Couple Up
11. People want confident, attractive, friendly, successful significant others. Not really a lesson that anyone needed to be reminded of but if you're having problems getting the guy or gal, you should probably look into becoming more confident, attractive, friendly and successful.
I'm sure I missed a love lesson or two from Entourage. Please mention them below, if that's something you might be interested in.
Photos via Bauer-Griffin